Abortion stories
Last night I watched a TV show on abortion. I often avoid watching these shows, because they tend to make me upset. In fact, I usually avoid TV altogether! The last time I sat down to watch a TV show was about two months ago with my friend Ruth. Her sister is expecting twins as well, and the show was about identical twins.
The program I watched last night was well made. Those who shared their experiences were presented against a black background, with light just on their faces and torsos. Five women and one man were featured. The interviewer did not appear in the documentary at all: he or she was invisible and silent. This gave the effect of being confronted simply with the person who was sharing. The testimonies were interspersed briefly with scenes of cityscapes underneath a dark sky, and occasionally with other images such as children enjoying swings. White text on a black background presented small amounts of information that gave the context for what the person said next.
Although I have heard that the maker of the documentary is pro-life, this was not overt. There were testimonies from those who regretted and repented of abortion, and from those who justified their decisions or were at peace with them.
I appreciated the way the documentary maker had presented each person in the context of other aspects of their lives. For example, it is hard to demonise a woman who feels no guilt for having two abortions for financial and career reasons when we know she is also a loving wife and devoted grandmother. To be pro-life, yet still present people we disagree with in the fulness of their humanity and without counter argument is courageous and powerful. People who have abortions are people just like you and I, who are deceived into thinking abortion is the best or only solution. Many of them are the sort of people you'd enjoy talking to at a dinner party.
Despite the fact that the interviewer's position was not overt, I think a strong pro-life perspective came out. One woman strongly justified her abortion, yet she is now childless at 45. Her tears over her childlessness spoke volumes for the emptiness of justifying her choice to kill the only child she will ever have. In another testimony, a woman who felt no guilt for her abortion said something that I found deeply profound. I do not remember her exact words, but the essence was that having a child is about relinquishing control and in doing so allowing life to flourish.
For me, the documentary brought to mind again ideas I have thought much about already. I was grateful to be able to discuss some of these ideas with Dave over the phone after watching it.
The more stories of abortion I hear, the more convinced I am that this will not end unless people choose not to enter sexual relationships where they are completely unprepared to have a child. If you are not ready to have a child, you are not ready to get intimate. A logical deducation of this is that if you are not ready to have a child, you are not ready to get married. In Australia, married women as well as single women have abortions in large numbers. If abortions are to reduce, people at least need to have a viable back up plan if their plan number one (no baby right now) does not work out. Otherwise they feel they cannot continue the pregnancy.
The debate over abortion is not really over whether or not the baby is indeed a baby. Those who justified their abortions knew they were justifying killing a person. They did not attempt to argue that what they did was anything other than killing, they argued that it was an OK form of killing.
When considering abortion, it is important to realise that we cannot make a judgement of what someone's quality of life will be. Those who justify abortion do so on the basis that the child would not have a good life if it was born. Several women mentioned that they did not want their child to suffer what they suffered. One mentioned poverty, another the lack of a stay-at-home-mother. The question that needs to be asked in these situations is "would you rather be dead?". I doubt their reply would be yes. We all suffer pain. Justifying abortion on the basis that the person would suffer makes us all candidates for termination. There is no way of planning everything out to avoid suffering.
There is no ideal, perfect time to have a baby. However, most people who have abortions do so on the basis that it is "not the right time". They hope to have a baby some day, just not now. The woman who is childless at 45 wanted specific things to happen before she would be "ready" to have a child, and in the end that time never came. In aiming for an ideal, she ended up with nothing. Usually, the ideal time is realted to financial circumstances. I find it ironic that in one of the richest cultures on earth, we feel we cannot afford children. In past generations, people had more children with less money.
Finally, in all this I am reminded of the gospel and I am aware of my own sin. In my pro-life efforts, I want to present the gospel of grace to hurting or deceived people. I still do not know how to do this well, but it is my desire. We should feel a deep compassion for those who are without God to turn to in circumstances of distress.
I am deeply grateful to serve a God who teaches us what is true and good. The Bible tells us that we do not have ultimate control over the womb, it is God who opens and closes it. Marriage is the relationship in which to pursue love and intimacy, and we are to avoid unwise and ungodly partnerships. Children are a blessing and a reward, and they are to be accepted with joy within marriage. Indeed, one of the reasons God created marriage is that he wants us to have them! Without God's revelation, I would not know these things. It is wonderful to serve a God who not only has a great plan for how things should work, but who graciously reaches down to save us from our sins and set us on the path to a flourishing life.
