Elnathan is Four!

Our firstborn turned four in May. You can tell we are busy because I am only posting about the event in July! Elnathan Michael Drew at four is . . .

• Full of stories about cars and his "imagination house" and "imagination children". 
• Drawing cars and houses at every opportunity
• Loving his "preschool stories" from Sonlight
• Eager to try out crafts and puzzles
• Becoming helpful in the kitchen!
• Able to pray with us each day, and great at singing his Songs for Saplings ABC Bible verses
• Showing Mercy all kinds of pretend play options which she quickly adopts
• Bursting with health and energy
• A great sleeper who often stays in bed until 7 or 8am
• Much better in church
• Making impressive block constructions
• Learning to serve and to love inviting people home
• Warming our hearts with statements like "You look lovely today" and "I love the quilt you made".
• An adoring older brother who loves to give Bill things "Look Mum, he is happy I gave him a book", grins from ear to ear in response to Bill's smile, and dances in circles for him. Here is a picture of "our baby" who smiles like this in response to almost any attention! All we have to do is talk to him and this is what greets us.

The last two and a half years since Mercy was born have been incredibly busy, and the learning curve has been steep. The past year was particularly challenging. Yet there is an abundance of joy. I exchange computer time for snuggles on the couch, my craft projects for eager tiny hands learning to coordinate paper and scissors, and a quiet house for cries of "Mummy". As we try to tell Elnathan often, you are a gift from God and He is good! 

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Introducing William (Bill) Huon Drew

We are thanking God for many answered prayers in the birth of our son William Huon Drew on February 19th at 6pm. The home birth we planned was quick and uncomplicated. Dave and our midwives were a great help, as was the warm birth pool, and Sherrin is recovering more easily than in the past births. Bill weighed 4.15kg and is 55cm long. This picture is of William on his first outing with the family at ten days old. We have been grateful for easier feeding this time as well.

The name we have chosen expresses God's provision to us in people, places and things. We have named him William after his paternal grandfather and maternal great grandfather. Dave's father William turns 70 this year so the timing seems perfect! Sherrin's late grandfather was also named William but was always called Bill. So we have chosen that as his shortened name. We met in the Huon Valley, and Sherrin spent the first six years of her life there. One of Dave's research projects involves ancient Huon pine, and it was also one of Grandad Bill's favourite woods for his many beautiful woodwork projects.

The picture above is of the other children meeting their brother for the first time. Elnathan (3 1/2) and Mercy (2) have been thrilled with their new brother, another answered prayer! They are full of questions about him. Mercy lavishes him with affection and copies his hand movements! They both love to ask questions about him and give kisses.

Here are a couple more pictures. It is a lovely time of year to have a baby and the garden is flourishing! We gave the children special gifts to help them celebrate bring a big brother and sister, including a family of little dolls with a baby and baby furniture.

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Praising God for Mercy's birth

 

There are so many things to be grateful for about Mercy's birth, including . . .

• I prayed and prayed that the baby would be in a good position, and the reduced pain in contractions indicates that this prayer was answered!
• Dave's wonderful support.
• Few of the birth suites at the hospital have baths, and you are not allowed to bring in a birth pool. We were so grateful that a suite with a bath was available!
• Having a lot of muscular pain during late pregnancy made me wonder if the contractions would be even more painful than last time. I wondered if muscular tension contributed to labour pain. I am grateful to realise that this is not the case!
• I remembered the last labour and birth well, it being so recent, and I didn’t feel like doing it again. I had some fear to pray over as we approached this birth. God’s amazing goodness is shown in the fact that this birth was totally different! In away we didn’t “do it again”, we had something different to do! This is, for me, yet another reminder not to be anxious about the future.
• The birth coming at a good time for us as a couple, even though it was late, because closer to the due date we felt more strained. We wondered about God's timing, as the extra week and a half was physically and emotionally difficult, but of course He knew best!
• Being able to hire the same midwife we had at our first birth to assist us this time. Our midwife spoke kind, encouraging words to us and made extra effort to help.
• Receiving good advice from our midwife about when to go to hospital, something we had been unsure about.
• Even though I was panicking, God enabled me to get through the difficult final stage without speaking unkind words to anyone. At one point I was able to focus on Him saying “God is my help and strength, I will not be afraid”.

 These are just some of the things I've been praising God for! He is so good to us!

 

 

 These pictures were taken in hospital shortly before we left.

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The Birth of Mercy Joy

 

Early labour lasted for most of Saturday November 20. In the afternoon Elnathan went to Grandma’s, happily waving goodbye. The contractions became increasingly regular and intense in the evening. In between contractions we looked at plants outside. Later Dave read to me. We have some lovely memories of the evening at home together. I had practiced breathing in through the nose to the count of four and out through the mouth to the count of six, and found this helpful throughout labour. I progressed to established labour (contractions that were more intense and I didn’t want to go through alone) at 9 or 9.30pm. We went to hospital at 10pm.

In hospital I spent most of the time labouring in the bath, as I was achy and tired. The water was restful between contractions. We asked the same people who were with us for Elnathan’s birth at home to come with us to the hospital, a private midwife (who also works at the hospital) and my sister. The contractions were less painful than last time, when I needed massage to get through them, and I only required Dave to talk me through. The pain was all at the front, none at the back. The bath was an ordinary sized one where you lie down, unlike the birth pool we had at home for our first labour. I kept wondering if I should be up upright to get things moving along faster. In my heart I knew that my body was opening up, but my head kept wondering if this was hard enough, or I was doing enough.

Sometime after midnight the waters broke. The next stage was short, but more painful. I was very panicky during it. I laboured on the bed. After I began pushing, she came with only a few pushes and was born at 1.30am on November 21st with only a minor tear. We praise God for an easier labour than first time around. With Elnathan’s birth established labour lasted seven hours and pushing took two hours. While I remained calm for most of the time, unlike this birth, afterwards I felt shocked. When I think about Mercy Joy’s birth, I feel happy and positive. As her head came out I said “it is a wonderful thing to give birth”. Now I can identify with people who say that labour and birth were not as bad as they expected, and that giving birth is a wonderful experience. We share this story with gratitude to God. Soon I hope to share some praise points from the birth and the first six weeks.

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Babies Don't Keep

Babies don't keep, so it is important to spend lots of time doing things like trying to capture their tiny hands in photos!

Sitting with them just enjoying the soft skin on the back of their heads is also important . . .

and enjoying these fleeting days when they sit quietly for cuddles!

It is a precious thing to have a tiny baby in the house, and I am savouring it more second time around. We both feel like we are enjoying these early days more this time.

These pictures were taken on December 1st.

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Mercy Joy Lorraine

God blessed us with the natural birth of our second child, Mercy Joy Lorraine, on Sunday November 21st. Mercy was born at 1.34am, weighing 3.725kg (about eight pounds). She is 52.5cm long. We came home at midday the same day.

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39 weeks and waiting

We only have two days to go until the due date and have reached the waiting stage, with the continual question "will baby come today" on our minds. Everything is as ready as it can be with . . .

* pretty pink Bumgenius nappies on the change table
* lots of pink clothes in the cupboards and case
* a little scrapbook of prayers and scriptures compiled to read during feeds
* the garden almost completely planted out with corn, pumpkins, spinach, carrots, lettuce, beans, and much more
* 20 meals in the freezer
* presents for Nate wrapped in the cupboard
* just about every job I wanted to do completed, including sorting folders, organising bookcases, and baking banana cakes!

We can never be fully "ready" for the changes a baby brings to your life, but we can certainly prepare as much as possible in the nine months God gives. I felt like baby would come early, but it looks like I will be proved wrong! My pregnancy has been easy for the most part, except for back pain that I may have had anyway. The the last week has been more challenging. Right now walking causes a lot of pain, but we are learning to trust God with each day as it comes. Dave has been a great help. We are hoping for a natural birth again, in hospital this time, and that we will be able to draw near to God in the midst of it. I am hoping that second time around will be easier. We know that we cannot take this for granted, as smooth births are a gift from God.

Here is the first Drew munchkin . . . 

He reminds us of the great blessings we can hope for with the gift of our new child.

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Hobart Above Rubies Camp 2010

Above Rubies is a ministry devoted to encouraging wives and mothers, with a free magazine that is always exciting to receive! I was happy to be able to go to the camp here in Hobart last weekend. I met lots of interesting and encouraging people, including the ladies pictured above. There was great diversity amongst both organisers and attenders, they certainly didn't fit any stereotypes that people may have of the magazine! This is testament to the fact that women from many walks of life want and need encouragement in their roles of wives and mothers. We may not all agree on education, day care, birth control, the gifts of the Spirit, or countless other issues, but we all want to grow as women of God. I felt that there was a spirit of freedom and love at the camp, and we were all encouraged to take away one thing we could put into action.

Nancy Campbell (pictured left) is the founder of Above Rubies. Originally from New Zealand, Nancy now lives in the USA. She had not visited Tasmania for 20 years prior to this camp. Nancy is pictured with Val Stares (Australian director) and Heather (NZ director). Nancy spoke about our vital building project - building our families. She explained many of the things that Satan can use to hinder us, including discouragement, "help" that undermines the family, self pity, fear, accusations, doubts, and false counsel. I am vulnerable in each of these areas and found the reminders helpful.

When I was seven months pregnant with Elnathan in March last year I was a bridesmaid and wore this dress. The dinner was a fun opportunity to wear it again . . . 7 months pregnant again! We were asked to come dressed to represent one of the seasons. I sat at the Spring table. There were tables for the other seasons as well, and they were all stunning. I was impressed with the work that had been put into the night. It was a treat to go away and be served! We also all received numerous gifts over the weekend, which were donated.

One of my favourite aspects of the camp was talking with other ladies and hearing/seeing what God was doing in their lives. I was affirmed in many of our convictions, and have a renewed sense of the importance of bearing and raising children. I am so grateful for my wonderful husband who cares about building the church, Christian education, welcoming children, having family devotions, etc. God is good! I came away desiring to grow in building our marriage, to look to God's word as our light, and to love being a mother.

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Adjusting to life with two!

This is an interview with Sara Warwick about adjusting to life with two children. Sara has three little children. If you have any further tips, please share them in the comments section! I have another interview on this topic coming up soon. We are doing our best to prepare for the next stage, realising that we will really have two babies! Natey has certainly grown up a lot, but he is still a baby as well. He is very kissable, so I liked this picture from best price art.

Do you think it is possible to prepare an 18 month old for the arrival of a baby brother or sister? Do you think there are any tasks/attitudes the child can be trained in that will assist?

Absolutely!! What we did was to casually talk about the baby being in my tummy and how special a role being a big brother or sister was! We had two cots so we didn't have to 'oust' the first child out of their comfortable cot because the baby needed it. (might not be possible for all people though). You could also get the older one to 'help' you fold nappies or pick an item of clothing for the baby when you are dressing them. I think the best attitude to have was to be relaxed!

What strategies did you put in place for the early days of having a second child at home?

Early days of being at home with two... Well if possible accept ALL offers of help. Don't try to do too much. I am notorious for doing too much after a birth and it catches up to you... unfortunately all the offers have stopped by then! Try to cook and freeze when about 8.5 months pregnant. Buying plastic cutlery so there is no washing up for the first week can help too. Try to make sure any night time waking of your older child is sorted out beforehand. I LOVE routines.... so I always made a toddler routine up with 'still' activities (highchair/playpen play, video time, reading time etc) during the future 'feed times' and made sure the toddlers were established in it beforehand so not much had to change in their daily schedule.

How did you ensure that the older child was content and happy during feeding times for the new baby?

Feeding time can be a breeze if you plan ahead! What we did was train the children to be able to sit in a highchair for 30mins with toys and be able to self entertain. When older, this changed to a playpen. They also had a snack beforehand and a drink, fresh nappy etc so they wouldn't need anything

Do you have any tips for remaining in harmony with your husband and ensuring he remains a number 1 priority?

In our home when always have 'couch time' ten minutes a day roughly where we sit and talk with the kids in the room but otherwise occupied so that the children could SEE that mum and dad love each other. Sorts out a lot of behavioural problems that stem from insecurity in the parent relationship. We learnt the hard way that not having dates is not a good idea. Now we try to do something together each week that is special and just us two, even if that is at home with a special take away dinner or foot rub! 

Also, do something nice for him when you can in your day. Ask if he needs something accomplished or just try to be ready to greet him with a smile when he comes home. Your days will often be stressful and sometimes plain awful, but home is his refuge too and although there is definitely time to tell him what happened, as soon as he steps out of the car is not the right time!

How did you continue to draw strength from God and his word during those busy early days?

I read a chapter of Proverbs each day that relates to the day of the month. That is so helpful for putting off bad attitudes and for gaining wisdom. It is an easy to read book which also helps. I think prayer is so important. God can hear us and will respond to us in ways we can never fully appreciate. Also deliberately putting on an attitude of thankfulness instead of self pity is ultra helpful! The Bible says it is a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. The world can look so bleak when we are sleep deprived, sore, spewed on, have mastitis and weigh more than we did before.... but turning our eyes to the Lord and the MANY blessings he has given to us in Christ can defeat even the most gloomy spirit.

In hindsight after going through the stage of having a toddler and a new baby, is there anything you would do differently or wish you had done?

There are LOTS of things I would do differently but that is the benefit of hindsight isn't it!

• Mostly RESTING and not trying to be super mum.
• Allowing my husband Duncan to do more parenting things and not thinking that I knew better because I was home all day with them.
• I would have started teaching our older ones about the Lord from day 1 instead of waiting until they could understand. Younger siblings do have benefits of parents prior learning!

I think that is it really. Not too many. God has used all of our mistakes to mold us into Christs' likeness, so I wouldn't change anything really. I've had very dark days and then others that make me cry with laughter. Motherhood is hard, busy but eternally minded and rewarding. It is a precious role to God and I accept this awesome responsibility with cheerfulness. God is good!

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20 weeks of pregnancy

I am a bit behind in posting pictures. We are now at nearly 22 weeks of pregnancy! This picture was taken at 20 weeks heading in for our ultrasound. Many people don't realise that one of the main purposes of the 20 week ultrasound is to diagnose disabilities so that abortion can be offered before 24 weeks. Read Defiant Birth for an eye opener about the way the Australian medical system points women toward abortion. This intention is the reason why I chose not to have an ultrasound at this stage during my last pregnancy. Apparently they don't offer fetal surgery in Australia, so diagnosing disability does not benefit the baby. However, this time I wanted to check the position of the placenta. As a bonus we found out that we can expect a healthy girl!

In our garden that weekend, also at 20 weeks of pregnancy. We are very grateful that we've had a trouble-free pregnancy so far. I have almost nothing to complain of, not even tiredness! Wow! 

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Why Kaz Cooke's Kid-wrangling is wrong about cloth nappies

Kid-wrangling is a popular book in Australia. I'm sure its lighthearted look at parenting is a pleasant relief from some of the more intense parenting materials out there. In between the amusement, Kaz is attempting to provide real information for parents. Much of it is probably sound and helpful. When it comes to cloth nappies, though, Kaz is just wrong. Before I start on why, I need to state my agreement with Kid-wrangling that cloth nappy advocates shouldn't go around making judgmental statements about those who use disposables. That being said, advocates of disposables need to do their homework before saying anything about cloth.

 I've just put my nappies on the line . . .

and it was way easier than Kaz would have us believe. We've used cloth nappies solely for four and a half months of Elnathan's life so far (excluding our overseas trip and his first two weeks). Disposables have their place, but good cloth nappies are really not that bad.

Kaz's comments are in italics. My responses follow.

They require far more labour.
If you use pocket nappies like Bumgenius it is very quick and easy. When we were in South Africa we used three different types of Huggies nappies, all with the same result: serious poo leaks that required clothing changes every time. Bumgenius have much better containment and reduce work in this way. Personally, I'd rather change a nappy than a whole outfit.

Soaking and washing them is an unpleasant, tedious task
Many modern cloth nappies don't need soaking. You just have to rinse off any poo at the time of changing the nappy, pop the nappy in the bucket, then dump them all in the washing machine when you feel in danger of running out of them.

They need to be washed with very hefty antibacterial chemical washing powders and in very hot water, and if poo stained they need savage bleaching products to look non-skid marked.
Huh? We don't own any of these products, and our nappies look OK. We rarely wash in hot water, either (shock, horror), and our baby's bot looks just fine.

It's hard to cope unless you have a whizzbang washing machine and dryer.
Our washing machine is fantastic (a Fisher & Paykel Intuitive Eco), but we don't own a dryer. We found it easy to get our nappies dry throughout the wettest Tasmanian winter for fifty years.

Cloth nappies are slightly trickier to fasten.
Only if you use traditional cloth squares! Bumgenius and some other pocket nappies are as easy as disposables.


You'll need:

about 30 to 35 nappies
try 20, I'm sure you'll be fine

about 6 - 8 plastic overpants
Yes, if you use nappies that need them. Pocket nappies like the marvelous Bumgenius don't.

fastners
Yes, if you use nappies that need them!

Rubber gloves
Why? Baby poo is not scary.


2 big nappy-soaking buckets with close-fitting lids
Try one, it is enough as long as you're not planning to soak your nappies (an unnecessary and annoying process).

bleach and antibacterial soaking powder
What are those things? We don't own them. The sun does the job.

a washing machine with a hot function
Handy but not strictly necessary, as long as you live in a climate where they'll get some sun.

antibacterial washing powder
Huh? We've purchased one box of ecostore powder and it is still going. With Bumgenius you are specifically required to use environmentally friendly detergent that doesn't contain enzymes, etc, and to use it very sparingly. If you don't, you're no longer eligible for the one year guarantee.

lots of clothes-line space and fine weather or a big clothes dryer
Neither are necessary. You can dry them inside if the weather is yuck. This is especially true of traditional cloth nappies, as they are thin cotton squares and dry quickly.

When I read Kaz's comments, I'm not surprised so few people use cloth. If I thought it would be like that, I probably wouldn't either. Kaz argues that using cloth is not necessarily an environmental improvement. If they are used in the way she describes, I agree. What many people forget is that you don't have to do cloth in the traditional way. Hey, it is 2009!

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Elnathan's new seat

Elnathan is six months old next week. He now enjoys trying to sit up to play, but doesn't have the balance to sit alone yet. Today I went to mother's group and saw this handy solution - the washing basket seat! Supervision is required, as unbalanced little ones can end up slumped against the sides. Some padding would also help, perhaps a blanket or quilt to soften the sides of the basket. My friend at mother's group had placed a doona over the basket for padding.

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The baby feeding issue

It will come as no surprise to most Mums that how to feed a baby can be a contentious issue. Those who bottle feed can feel judged by those who breastfeed. Those who schedule feed can tend to be judgemental of those who "demand feed" - and vice versa. Those who breastfeed for one year or six months often express judgment of those who feed their children for two years or four. Whenever these conversations come up, I like to churn out my standard line. "Each to their own, each to their own", I say!

This is not because I believe the Bible has nothing specific to say about the baby feeding issue. It is because I believe the Bible speaks very clearly to this issue, and encourages us to take an "each to their own" attitude. Romans 14 indicates that we not to judge others based on what they eat. Food is one of the "doubtful things" over which we are not to get into disputes (Romans 14:1).

I am uncomfortable when Romans 14 is applied to anything and everything, from pot smoking to belly dancing. This type of application amounts to the idea that anything that is not specifically mentioned in the Bible is an area of total Christian liberty. I attempted to counter this argument in my post "Sure, you can be a Christian polygamous, petrol sniffing, right wing racist if you like". Romans 14 tells us which matters it is speaking of - food and special days. Baby milk falls into the category of food, does it not? Therefore we shouldn't be spending our days commenting on what others are doing.

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The God who delights to humble us

Suppose you eliminated suffering, what a dreadful place the world would be! because everything that corrects the tendency of man to feel over-important and over-pleased with himself would disappear. He's bad enough now, but he would be absolutely intolerable if he never suffered."

Malcolm Muggeridge, as quoted in Elizabeth Elliot's A Path Through Suffering: Discovering the Relationship Between God's Mercy and Our Pain

My labour experience with Elnathan was a wonderful example of God's providence and answered prayer, which I hope we will always look back upon with gratitude. It was also one of the most painful and difficult experiences of my life, which I came out of thinking "Wow, I've been through that and I'm still here!". Our early weeks with Elnathan have likewise been full of examples of God's goodness, and full of physical pain as I've had problems with breastfeeding.

At times I've wondered what on earth God was doing - the pain of birth seemed enough, without the added feeding problems. My answer is that God has humbled us through this pain. We often prayed for humility, and God has answered through suffering. There is nothing like suffering to put us in our place. Pain reminds us that we are not in control. We have to surrender to God's will, not our own. 

Suffering also reminds us not to judge ourselves to be better than others. Would we do better if we were in their place, with their suffering? My relatively small sufferings have given me a greater appreciation for the reasons why people might be afraid of birth, or might give up breastfeeding in favour of the bottle. I don't believe I was ever harshly judgmental of those who opt for elective cesareans or bottle feed from the start. Now though, I realise that I could easily be one of them if I did not have so much wonderful support. 

Pain has humbled me again. May God be glorified.

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