Keeping up with the blogs

I have long intended to post on how to manage your blog addiction through blog tracking technology, but never got around to it. Last week Susan did it for me. Go and check out Susan, the technology expert.

I recently deleted two blogs from my bloglines tracking system, because I wasn't keeping up with them all. Now I only have 14 blogs I'm trying to read regularly, plus visiting others more intermittently. It is tiring, I tell you! I am almost relieved when I visit a blog and I don't particularly like it. I think "Phew, I'm not going to be tempted to visit this one all the time, and I won't have to add it to all the others". I have so many blogs that I do like (probably 30 or so), I could be reading all day! Blog tracking does save time, because you don't have to check blogs all the time when they have not been updated anyway. Some people hardly ever update, so it is especially useful for those sort of blogs.

Some noteworthy things around the blogosphere:

John has also saved me some blogging effort, through posting one of my favourite hymns. I love Abide with me and often sing it to myself. I think I need a dose of it right now, but I'd better not start singing in the Online Access Centre.

Deb has a lovely post on The Sweet Aroma of Blogging. I enjoy finding out why others enjoy blogging, and how they started with it. It was fun to read of Deb's initial confusion about what the point was!

Kimi has some lovely thoughts on how to respond to others' faults. Now, if only I would put the advice into action!

God keeps reminding me of my responsiblity for the words I choose to post here! I know I have readers who never comment online. Often friends will mention my blog to me when I see them in "real life", and I'm reminded that more people are reading than I realise! This is a big reminder to pray over what I write.

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How to pronounce Sherrin

Early this month Susan and I had a conversation in the comments section of my journals post about how to pronounce my name. I thought other readers might be wondering too, so here are a few pointers!

1. It is not said the same as Sharon
2. The e in Sherrin is like the e in elephant and pet.
3. The accent is on the first syllable of the word.

I feel like you'll proably still be saying it wrong, since it is so hard to explain how to say something when you can't hear me, but this should put you on the right track!

This is one of the many marks of internet relationships. It is like: "I know the names of all of your family, what pets you have, what your opinions are on everything from hats to hell . . . but how do I say your name??"

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Goodbye, dear friend

Today my friend Hunnah leaves for Sydney, where here husband is taking up a new job. Hunnah has been a good friend for many years. She was kind to me in my first year of school, when I was not yet a Christian, and has been a faithful friend ever since. Our circumstances have greatly changed over those years, and we have shared many events. We now share fellowship in the Lord, and that is more important than anything. Thank you Hunnah for many years of kind words, discussions about the Bible and the Christian life, support, and love. I trust that we will have many more years of fellowship ahead, even if it is less frequent and from a much greater distance! May God bless your new life in Sydney.

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Lunch with friends

Here are a few pictures of the friends I had over to lunch two weeks ago. I am grateful to everyone for coming and helping to make it a happy afternoon. My parents enjoyed visiting with my friends as well.

After eating the savoury part of our meal, we went outside for a walk around my parents' property. Everyone was curious about the orange fruit on some of our trees, especially since was mid-winter. Some thought that the fruit resembled small pumpkins hanging from a tree! They are actually persimmons. I asked Dad to explain what they are. Then most people tried one. I'm sorry to say that no one expressed a great liking for them! All the more for Dad to eat, I guess!


Sam Downes made great friends with Puss, which amazed us! We began to think she should be adopted to a more loving home. The Downes family love animals. We like Puss, but that is not the same as love. We scarcely ever hold her. Sam held her all afternoon. What is more, she liked it! When I try to hold her she always jumps away. Perhaps she knows the touch of true love when she feels it, and Sam has that touch!


Here I am with all my guests except one, who was so exhausted from a Christian camp that she had to lie down for a sleep in the guest bed!

L to R: Josh, Sam, Dave, Sherrin, Amanda, Felicity, Shiloh.

This gathering was more work than those I wrote of here. It was more work because I wanted to make succotash. This is one of the few new dishes I've learnt since starting work in Launceston (perhaps the only one). It is a thick soup with corn, beans, pumpkin and capsicum in it. Since I wanted to have this I ended up having three courses: soup and rolls, then mains and salad, then dessert (after a long walk around the garden). At my other gatherings I only had two courses, which is obviously less work. I enjoyed preparing all the food though. It was fun to have the time to cook, because I was on holiday.

As I often say or think, most things that are worthwhile involve hard work! I found the afternoon very worthwhile, and I'd love to have people over again soon! As usual when I extend hospitality, I was blessed with a fun time. Isn't it great that the Bible's words that it is "more blessed to give than to receive" are true in practice, and that we find ourselves blessed when we serve others and obey God?

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Why blog?

The question "Why blog?" is one that I often consider. It is a pertinent question, since I often spend upwards of three hours every week writing or reading on blogs. I'd like to think I have good reasons to spend time doing this.

Sometimes when I consider my heart attitude with regard to blogging, I am ashamed at what I see. At times I am envious of others' site designs, numerous comments, many visitors, or engaging posts. I see a desire to advance myself, to get others to pay attention to me, to have others appreciate my writing. At the heart of all these ungodly, competetive ideas is the sin of selfish ambition. I've learnt to recognise and repent of these attitudes.

In spite of struggling with sin in regard to blogging at times, I keep on doing it! This is because the benefits outweigh the struggles. Here are some of the ways blogs can be used as a blessing.

Praise God. There are many things to praise God for, and blogs are one way to do it! I enjoy reading about others' answered prayers, or God's providential work in their lives.

Encourage Christians. I often find blogs an encouragement. I go away with fresh inspiration to live out God's ways that day. I hope my blog encourages others in turn.

Provide examples of Christianity lived out in every day life. I find it helpful to read about others' experiences of living for Christ. I realise I don't really "know" most of the people I read about on blogs, but I still feel like it is helpful to see how they are relating God's truth to their lives.

Develop friendships. Blogs can be a way to communicate with old friends and develop new ones. Since beginning my blog, I have enjoyed meeting some people who seem like "internet friends"!

Challenge and equip Christians. I enjoy reading different perspectives on how we should live or what we should believe as Christians. It is helpful to be challenged through reading and discussing perspectives that are not common amongst the people I meet in "real" life. Partly adopting some of these perspectives has made me weirder than ever, but not to worry!

Learn about other countries. The geography and customs of other countries often become more fascinating when you have contact with people who live in those places.

Have fun! As Proverbs says, a merry heart does good like a medicine! I find blogs fun, and that is a very important reason why I keep on blogging!

I'm sure there are more reasons why blogs can be good. Perhaps you have some you can share! Please write your perspectives in the comments section.

Blogs are only helpful if they are kept in their proper place in life. Some people become too involved, at the expense of more important pursuits. I have to watch this all the time in my life. This is one reason why I try to post only two to four times a week.

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My first home

During my two weeks on holiday, my old friend Genevieve and I went to Glen Huon and visited my old home. I lived at Glen Huon until I was six, and my first home has always had a special place in my memory. Genevieve and I were rather aimlessly wandering the Huon Valley in my parent's car when I thought of my old home! Genevieve was kind enough not to mind our detour! (See this map to see where Glen Huon is in Tasmania).

Here is Genevieve with some of the beautiful views from Lanes Rd, the road my first home is on.

I was so excited when I saw my old home from the road. I knocked on the door, and the present owners gave me a tour! Many of the rooms in the house and the big stair case seemed familiar, even though it is so many years since I have been there.

The owners also let me wander outside. It was fun to see the fruit trees my parents once planted, now covered with moss . . .

Here is the house my Grandad built . . .

Here is the wonderful pond with bull rushes, a marvelous place to a child! It was a pleasure to see it looking so similar. I have delightful memories of playing in the ferns below our home.

One of my friends grimaced when he saw this photo - apparently I am wearing far too much pink and that hat is so American (not a compliment)! I like it though, and that's all that matters!

I had a wonderful childhood enjoying the outdoors. As I was homeschooled, we often only did book work for part of the day. After that we were free to run and play outside. From when I was six until now my parents have lived on another property with plenty of land, which is near the sea. I hankered after my first home for many years after moving there, but I have multitudes of good memories of the outdoors there too.

I often ran around outside bare foot all year round! I would cut my feet on bracken fern buts, or on the shells and rocks at the shore, but that did not worry me at all. I felt really strange at the start of this year in my new job, when I had to make a rule that the children were to keep their shoes on at all times unless they asked and they had a very good reason to take them off. I had to do this, because they were taking their shoes off all over the place (they can't do their laces up either!). I kept thinking of my own childhood, free of the constraints of shoes, and standing in lines, and all day in a classroom. I learnt to read basic readers when I was three, in my old home, and never suffered academically. I can remember annoying my older brother and sister by reading the same book over and over again.

I was reminded of all this when I visted a little over three weeks ago. I was reminded to be grateful for ferns, ponds, reading, bare feet on grass, tadpoles and other simple and small joys that made my childhood a sweet one.

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Holiday report

I have been back at work for a week now. I had a wonderful holiday, and I have several highlights to share!

Friends

I was very happy to see lots of friends during the holidays. I had been thinking that most of the people I invite for dinner don't ever invite me to their houses. I was not thinking this because I was upset about it. I was thinking that I'd miss out on a lot of fun if I only invited people who reciprocated! During the holidays, I was invited to two friends' houses where I had never been before. I'd had these people over to my house before. I really enjoyed visiting their homes and chatting with them. I was also invited to other friends houses where I have been before.

Mum and I were also able to excercise some hospitality. I invited a neighbour over for afternoon tea, and it was a blessing to pray with her for the first time. I have prayed for her for years, and I found out this year that she has been attending church. The next week Mum invited another neighbour over for lunch. She had met this lady on walks, but she could not remember her name! Mum was living the true meaning of hospitality - stranger love! We also had three other lunches with guests during the same week! On Saturday I had seven people over. I invited nine, but two couldn't come. It was a fun afternoon, and I hope to post pictures next time I am home.

I also enjoyed attending my church, Crossroads Presbyterian. Since attending church in Launceston on weekends when I am here I have received a renewed understanding of what a blessing it is to go to church and know the people! It is very hard to go to a church where no one is familiar. Even when I know their names, I do not know them. We have no shared history. This has inspired me to try harder to welcome new people when I am at home in Hobart. I think Crossroads is a very welcoming church anyway, but I need to do my part. I am often so busy catching up with my lovely friends that I don't pay much attention to those who are unfamiliar!

Fasting

In the comments section of Focusing on prayer I wrote: I think I'll have to make fasting for at least one meal one of my holiday goals. Otherwise I'm just going to talk about it for another few years.

Well, I did it! I only fasted from 10am to 5pm, but at least I finally did something rather than just talking about it! I was still on my holiday excitement high, so I can't say I felt like stereotypical notions of how you are supposed to feel whilst fasting. I felt as happy and excited as ever! I did not feel bad from not eating, except for when I was helping in the kitchen. I did pray a lot more than I usually do in a day. It would be worth fasting again next holidays just for this reason.

Scrapbooking and photos

I have been struggling to organise my photos, which have multipled since I was given a digital camera a year ago! I have scrapbooked for years, but it is different now that I have more photos. I have to decide which to print, and this takes extra time. Even when I have deleted a lot of pictures on my computer, decided which to keep but not print, and which to print, I still end up with more printed pictures than I had before. I realised I was getting very behind with scrapbooking. So I have decided I have to simplify! I am following the KISS principle: Keep it simple stupid. Using different colours for each page, depending on the colours in the photos, is banned. Matting photos is banned. Each season has a colour scheme and theme that must be adhered to. I can use printed pages and stickers that follow the colour and theme. I am enjoying scrapbooking again, and it is no longer seems as much like just another job. I plan to post a couple of pictures of my attempts at super-simple scrapbooking soon. During the holidays I completed January - April. Yay!

Family

My parents were very happy to have me in the house again, as I am a constant source of amusement for them :). I was happy to laugh with them!

It was also good to spend time with Janelle (sister), Lyndon (brother-in-law), and Esther (niece). Esther has her own names for her twin siblings due in early December: Rosie and Lucky! We have no idea where these names came from! Her parents are trying to get her used to the idea that they might be called other names.

I am sure there is more I could share about my holidays, but I'll leave it here for now! I am already missing home again, and I'm counting the sleeps until I return. Seven to go! I am planning to come down every second weekend this term. This will include the weekends of Saturday July 29th, and August 12th and 26th. On the other weekends, I think my friends should come and visit me :).

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What to say?

I am back in the land of few friends and no personal computer, otherwise known as Launceston. So yesterday I dropped into the online access centre to book myself a couple of hours on Friday. The person who booked me into the computer was apologising for not remembering my name, and told me he was very tired. He said "I do the tarot card readings. The lady this morning didn't want to use the tarot cards, so I had to rely on my clairvoyants and boy am I exhausted." I said "Oh no, that is no good, that is no good at all" or something of that nature. I was thinking of the clairvoyants, not the exhaustion! I was grasping for somthing more intelligent and spiritual to say, but nothing came. So I wandered out the door feeling a little stunned! What do you think you would have said? "Repent and believe in the living God, do not call upon dangerous demons", or something a little more innovative? All I could think of afterwards was that I could have spoken with him about my limited experience with witchcraft and its dangers, and how God can set you free, but it sounds like he is into it much more than I ever was.

This experience reminded me of how easy it is to meet non-Christians simply though being involved in community groups or activities. For example, you could join a garden club or a patchwork class. These groups are usually full of people who don't know God. I could volunteer to help run the online access centre, but I don't think I'd have the time or be reliable enough with all my travelling to and from Hobart. However, I always want to keep in mind that joining in with community activities is a great way to meet people if you have time. You can often combine doing something you enjoy with reaching out to the lost. A happy mix, I think.

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And then there were two

On Tuesday my sister Janelle went for an ultrasound of her unborn baby, or so she thought. As soon as the first ultrasound picture came up, she realised she was having an ultrasound of her unborn babies. The first picture was of two heads. Being a midwife, my sister recognised this straight away. She said "Oh no, I knew I was too big!". My sister was the only one of us who suspected she might have twins. Janelle felt unusually tight for only 19 weeks of pregnancy. She had also been feeling more unwell than during her pregnancy with Esther (now two and a half). Janelle and Lyndon are both excited about their news, as well as aware of the extra work twins will mean. Lyndon could not stop smiling all day after hearing! He is still in shock. I told him that since my sister-in-law was shocked for two weeks after having a girl, he has a right to be shocked for at least a month over this news.

Mum was the first one in our family to be told. Janelle asked for her, of course! I could tell from what Mum was saying that Janelle was having twins. I broke into estatic hand waving, grinning, and my own version of dancing (which usually involves moving from foot to foot and arm waving at the same time). I tried to say "Praise the Lord" into the phone but Mum pushed me away! Since we have no family history of twins, the thought never occured to Mum or I that Janelle might have twins. Janelle and Lyndon were only planning to have two children. Since Mum and I tend toward being "the-more-babies-the-better" kind of people we feel like we've received a special bonus! I can assure you I'm having lots of fun recalling Janelle and Lyndon's two-child comments now :). I tried to convince my sister that it wasn’t a good idea to tell people exactly what you want, because you never know what might happen, but she didn’t listen to me!

Even though Janelle and Lyndon had other plans, they have a great attitude to their extra addition. It would be hard not to recognise the hand of God in this event! We looked at a book that mentioned twins, and the author said parents were often “distressed” at the news. I am glad that this has not been the case in our family! It helps to have the perspective that children are a gift from God, and he gives the strength to fulfil the responsibilities he gives.

When Janelle first phoned Mum with the news, one of the things Mum said was that “Sherrin will have to stay here next year”. So perhaps I will give Launceston a miss next year! Mum and I certainly want to help with the extra work our special bonus will bring. Susan has a great post that includes a quote from Stepping Heavenward, which epitomises the attitude I want to have to children. Here is the quote, with the part I like best in bold:

I celebrated my little Una's third birthday by presenting her with a new brother. Both the children welcome him with delight that was of itself compensation enough for all it cost me to get up such a celebration. Martha takes a most prosaic view of this proceeding, in which she detects malice prepense on my part. She says I shall now have one mouth the more to fill and two feet the more to shoe, more disturbed nights, more laborious days, and less leisure or visiting, reading, music, and drawing.

Well! This is one side of the story, to be sure, but I look at the other. Here is a sweet, fragrant mouth to kiss; here are two more feet to make music with their pattering about my nursery. Here is a soul to train for God; and the body in which it dwells is worthy all it will cost, since it is the abode of a kingly tenant. I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all, to whom, while I minister in Christ's name, I make a willing sacrifice of what little leisure for my own recreation my other dearlings had left me. Yes, my precious baby, you are welcome to your mother's heart, welcome to her time, her strength, her health, her tenderest cares, to her lifelong prayers! Oh, how rich I am, how truly, how wondrously blest!

Since hearing about our twins I've also enjoyed reading Mrs. Chancey's testimony about her life since having twin boys. Oh, and she already has five other children :).

Now, the question “will the baby be a boy or a girl” is replaced with “will there be two boys, two girls, or a girl and a boy”. This is a topic for much discussion until the next ultrasound, when Janelle and Lyndon plan to end the suspense. I can see the benefits of a girl and a boy, but the drawback is that it would be harder to dress them in matching clothes. I am presently calling them Josiah and Jeriah (a boys name my sister mentioned before the twin news). Dad suggested Leo and Alexis, or if alliteration is preferred they could be Leo and Lexis. You can see that there are endless fun possibilities to chat about over here, can’t you?

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The Fulfilled Single

Last night I visited friends for dinner. Here they are: Yvonne, Nick, Owen, and Phil. Nick and Phil wowed us with their culinary delights. Phil was especially impressive, with his complex and multiple-spice-filled dish! After dinner they wowed us with their musical ability on a piano that is presently located in the garage.



In the course of the evening I enjoyed chatting with The Fulfilled Single . . .


Nick is in his mid-twenties. It took him a while to acknowledge this disturbing fact, but he is now fulfilled and content with his state in life. He is now readily acknowledging that he is headed toward his late twenties. As I've mentioned, Nick is The Fulfilled Single. However, it is possible that he could be persuaded to change his station in life to that of The Fulfilled Husband if the right young lady appeared. Here is what Nick feels he has to offer, in six points:

1. Attractive to nest feather-ers, as he holds a good job as a pharmacist
2. Cooks great curries
3. Will play classical music on the piano to serenade you to sleep every night. (I can testify that Nick's musical skills are amazing, although with the present location of the piano in the garage, sleeping might not be comfortable).
4. Owns a very nice red car
5. Has travelled the world, and can therefore offer worldly wisdom
6. Enjoys golf, and needs a caddie.

Apologies to anyone who looked at the title of this post and thought I had tips to offer on fulfilled singleness . . . perhaps another time. In the mean time, if you would also like to be featured in my singles columns, please email me at sherrin dot ward at gmail dot com. You won't regret it.

This post is a joint creation of Yvonne, Own, Phil, Nick, and Sherrin, with most of the intellectual input being provided by persons other than the usual writer of this blog.

Edit 15/7/06: I am a bit worried that some people might be concerned about the flippancy (and perhaps tastless humour) of this post on what is an important topic. This really is just my idea of a joke, and the way I joke around with my friends. I do have serious thoughts on the matter of courtship/dating/marriage etc. as well, which I might post about some time!

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A guest post from my Mum

My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. James 1:2-3.

In the last seven years I have seen these verses lived out so vividly in the life of my daughter Sherrin. Seven years ago I was earnestly seeking the Lord for the soul of my daughter, spending hours before him interceding for all of my four children. He had given them to me. He would answer my petitions. I asked the Lord to do whatever He needed to do to bring Sherrin into His kingdom. That same year in July Sherrin was seriously injured in a car accident and is still in pain from that. In the following years I saw the mighty hand of God moving and transforming His child into a new creation just as He promises He will do for every person who seeks His face with a humble and repentant heart. He showed Sherrin her heart and her need. He led her to the foot of the Cross and showed her a life beyond her pain. This life sustains her today. This life has led her into the treasures that God has for all men and she knows that this life, the Lord Jesus Christ, is sufficient in pain-filled days. Nothing else satisfies the soul. The Lord answered my prayers in an unexpected and awesome way and as I have watched Him at work in Sherrin my heart bursts with a mixture of sorrow and joy. Only the Lord can bring such joy out of sorrow.

by Lorraine Ward

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A most unnecessary hat

I figure it is time for a break from serious posts after yesterday, so I have decided to post on my unnecessary hat :).







I discovered this hat at a stock take sale. I was in the store to pick up sensible things like socks and pyjamas off layby, when I saw the hat. I tried it on, and it was all down hill from there. Did I really need a pure wool brown hat with a pink ribbon . . . uh, no, but do I always have to be sensible? Had I ever thought of owning such a hat before . .. uh, no, but I really like it :).

Any doubts I had about the hat were dispelled when I wore it to school for the next day. It created a lot of fun, as nearly everyone commented on it and had a laugh.

It also created some fun that weekend when I wore it to church. I visited Trinity Church for their first day, because some friends are involved. This lovely lady had fun wearing my hat . . .



This friend also had fun wearing the hat. I hope he will forgive me for posting this picture . . .



Thankfully he does not frequent blogs (he's one of those "what's the point of them" people). However, it is possible that someone who does frequent blogs may tell him. This photo reminds me of the cover picture on "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". Does it remind you of that too?

I recommend new hats to you all, there is nothing like them for a conversation starter.

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9/7/99 in the providence of God

How kindly God has thwarted me,
so that I might learn to glory in disappointments.
Robert Murray McCheyne

Today is an anniversary

My ramblings on this anniversary of my car accident are quite long, so I'll understand if you just read the bits that interest you. The end is my favourite part, so if you only have a few minutes just read that :).

It seemed fitting that I spent the early morning hours of the anniversary of my car accident awake due to pain, as I have on so many mornings in the seven years since that day. It also seemed fitting that the day before I had gone sight seeing with one of the few friends I still have who was also a friend before the car accident. I rarely see Genevieve now, but I still count her as a good friend. She is the sister of the girl who drove on the 9th of the 7th ’99. In one small sign of how far I have come in recovering in the past few years, I did not feel afraid when a new friend was driving us around a country road at night on the way back from our trip. In the several years following the accident, this mimicry of the situation in which it occurred would have filled me with terror.

The Bear

Today I got out a teddy bear covered with writing from my time in hospital seven years ago following my car accident. It is a reminder of the friends I had at the time, the strong pain killers I was given in hospital which made me hallucinate, and some of the wrong things I was involved with before the accident. Here are some of the messages:

Dear Lenny Hello Sweety-Pie. I bet your’re just faking it to get out of exams! Please get better soon – I need someone to be rude to me! All of my love, Sophie Oddy Melody.

Shezza, Shezza, Shezza, What shall we do with you? You always want to be the centre of attention! I’m so glad that you’re quite well considering! Love Amber.

REMEMBER YOU DO HAVE FRIENDS EVEN IF YOU HAD TO BREAK YOUR BACK TO FIND OUT. DARIAN.

GET WELL SPEEDY GONZALA. MICK.

So the drugs do work! Love Bron.

To Sherrin I’ve finally fulfilled my dreams I’ve seen you in a nighty. Pete.

Hello Sherrin! Hope you get well soon! I’ve seen you in a nightie too! (not that I’m insinuating anything! Love Mel.

Edit 11/7/06: I took out one line that someone objected to, because of the language used. Some words that are ordinary in Australia are considered swear words in the USA, so I want to be careful.

The Doctors

Seven years after the event, I no longer have trouble remembering the date of what the doctors call my MVA (short for motor vehicle accident). In appointment after appointment, I have confirmed these basic facts. Yes, I was in an MVA on the 9th of July ’99. On the evening of 9/7/99 I was a front seat passenger, wearing a seatbelt, when the driver lost control of the car. She was headed for trees when she swerved the car in an attempt to get it back onto the road. I thought she was going to go back onto the road, but instead we headed for a rock face. We hit at about 80 km an hour. It felt like we were in a movie. The car hit first on my side. It bounced back, hit the rock face again, and rolled. It landed on my side. I immediately knew that something was wrong with my back and legs. I managed to crawl out the broken window and lie down beside the road. The ambulance came after a long time. I was in hospital for 15 days. I was diagnosed with a crush fracture to vertebra L3, but did not require surgery. I went home with a back brace and had lots of bed rest . . .

In response to the inquiries of health professionals I recount these facts, and the subsequent effects of chronic pain upon my work, study, recreation, social life, future motherhood, sleep patterns, and mental state. I confirm that previous to the 9th of the July ’99 I did not have low back or leg pain. I confirm that I have attended physio, counselling in regard to pain management, seen specialists, and recovered from post-traumatic stress and what psychologists termed “adjustment disorder” (a fancy name for the struggle to adjust to a dramatic change in circumstances). I have a long running legal case for compensation from the Motor Accidents Insurance Board, and still have to attend medical appointments for legal purposes. The doctors attempt to answer questions posed either by my lawyers or those of the MAIB. I have already attended two of these this year.

The Spiritual

While the accounts I give to doctors may sound comprehensive, in reality they usually miss out what is most important to me in the midst of this. They miss out the spiritual. Here I want to share parts of how I view this.

Faith and Providence

Many Christians struggle to cope with the reality that God chooses not to heal me yet. In the year of the accident, I was converted. Following this I attended a strongly Pentecostal church. I was certain I would make a full recovery. I was encouraged to “name it and claim it”, and to never “confess the pain”. I was told that God wanted to heal me, and that he had healed me, and I just needed to step into that healing. This was the last thing I needed to hear at the time, as one of the most important aspects of recovery is acceptance of reality. Even the parents of the friend who drove me into the rock face hinted several times that I must have some kind of “skeleton in my closet” because this had happened to me. I still receive such comments from well meaning believers. Thankfully I no longer find them so shattering.

It takes just as much faith to believe that God is sovereign, and he has chosen not to heal me yet, as it does to “name it and claim it”. If God wanted to heal me now, he would do it. I cannot stop him. I still frequently pray for liberation from pain, for healing. Yet I have faith that God’s continued “no” is part of his deliberate plan. God truly is in control of all things. His plans are not thwarted. He may thwart us, and allow our hopes and dreams to be dashed to pieces in the midst of the reality of our limitations, but he will never be thwarted. Yesterday, speaking of a much more trivial glitch in what I wanted for my life, I said “I figured it must be providential because it was happening”. Everyone laughed at this, but they appreciated the truth of the statement. To many Christians, the idea that God was in control of my car accident that day is offensive. To me it is an immense comfort.

Gratitude

There is so much to be grateful for as I look back over the past seven years. The car accident I was involved in could easily have resulted in my death. I could also have become a paraplegic. In the weeks before the accident, the car had been fitted with inner reinforcements that helped it not to crumple.

In taking so much from me, the accident and subsequent chronic pain also left me with a deeper gratitude for what I had left. Gradually I learnt to focus on what I can do, not what I can't do. Simple and small things became more of a joy. The pleasures of nature became more significant.

In the years since the accident I can also be grateful for the immense changes God has completed in me. Although I could do more before the accident, I was not happier for it. In fact, I was deeply insecure and self-focused. Due to my conversion, I am happier now than I was seven years ago.

Of course I regret living with constant pain. I would love to work full time, meet up with friends whenever I felt like it, be more involved in ministry, or travel more easily. I regret going on that car trip. Occasionally I still think about what life would have been like if I had stayed home. Yet my dominant feeling today, on this seventh anniversary, is gratitude. God had every right to allow me to die and enter an eternity of torment. Instead, he had mercy upon me. I do not praise him enough for all his bountiful blessings. I will not allow today to end without expressing gratitude for his choice. A choice that I should be reminded of with each disappointed hope, each disturbed night, and each painful day. There is so much more I could say about what God has done through my car accident, but the most important thing to say is "thank you".

Thank you, Almighty Father, that you liberated me from a fruitless way of living. Thank you that you did not catapult me into eternity without you. Thank you for faithful parents who have helped me all this time. Thank you for changing my heart, and setting my spirit free even as my body is in bondage to pain. You stripped me of the ability to sit, stand, sleep, dance, run, walk, and serve without pain. You had every right to do all this. You are the God who gives good gifts, and you have every right to take them away. Thank you for over seventeen years of legs and a back that moved without pain. Thank you for the enjoyment and freedom of those years. Thank you that those years will come again, if not in this life then in the next. Thank you for the comfort of your presence and your word. Thank you for teaching me that you are the sovereign ruler of the universe, and the only correct response to your work is humble praise. Thank you for Jesus. Due to his death and resurrection I can look forward to tomorrow.

Related posts:

Memories of Friends
Let God’s Mercy be Joy to You
God’s Mercy to Me
Kindly Thwarted

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Journals

Without a diary, your travels will be "no better than a flight of birds through the air" leaving no trace. These were John Adams' words to his grandsons as they left for London to be with their parents after living with him for six years.

I am sure John Adams would have been a lot more sympathetic to my journal writing habits than my family and friends are :). Reactions to my journal hobby range from "I don't know how you ever get the time" to "You are going to have to be careful what you do with those when you die." One of the few positive comments I have received was "You are so good, I wish I could be like you". I am not sure why writing a diary qualifies me as being "good", but there you go!

I enjoyed reading snippets from Susan's early journals. I have only been keeping a journal with any regularity since late 2002, but I have 14 books so far. Each ranges is about 100 - 200 pages. I don't write every day, or any specified amount. Every book is undated, so I write in the date whenever I want to write. I have written less since I got this blog. I rarely spend more than 10 minutes a day on my journal.

I do sometimes wonder what I will do with all these books. I don't write them to be read, yet I wonder if they will be read someday. As far as I know, no one else in my family keeps a diary. Therefore, if anyone does ever read my diary I will be the only one giving representations of them. Due to this, I try not to write much about their shortcomings. However, I am sure that what I really think still comes out. I wish some of them would choose to represent things from their perspective, so mine would not be the only representation. I am aware that what is written down is often what is remembered and recounted, whether or not it is correct.

One of the greatest blessings of keeping a journal, in my experience, is how clearly I can see God working in my life. Over time, I can see how prayers have been answered, I cope better with what God has given me, and other providential works of God. Without my diary, I would forget most of these things. I hope that if anyone does ever read my journals, God's providential hand is what they will see.

Do any of you keep a journal presently, or have you done so in the past? If not, what are your thoughts on it? Waste of time? Wonderful? Come on, be honest!

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Travels with a new friend

I have made one new friend in Launceston, Praise God. I made friends with Ruth when she gave me a lift down to Hobart one weekend. I work with Ruth, she is a Teacher's Aide and secretary at the school, but I did not get to know her much until we travelled together down to Hobart. A two and a half hour trip is a good time to find out whether or not you enjoy someone's company!

After that, one day she invited me to go on a day trip with her to see more around Launceston. We went for a drive beside the Tamar River . . .


I thought Auld Kirk Sidmouth, pictured below, would be the ideal place to be buried! It is a Presbyterian church.



Here is Ruth at Perth during one of our stops on the trip to Hobart. People who travel with me always have to stop for a few minutes every half hour to let me out for a little walk to help my back pain (when I'm on the bus I just get up and walk the aisle). Ruth made these little stops lots of fun!


It was also fun in Ross, where we stopped at a lolly shop. I bought an ice cream, which seemed a good way to celebrate the start of winter! It was early in June. I wore trousers that day just to prove to Ruth that I do wear trousers sometimes! She had asked me one day at work if I ever do! It is in our contract that we must wear skirts to work, so I don't have any choice there, but I wear skirts a lot anyway.

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Summer is coming

John posted his summer ride and for the first time I felt like doing one of these quizzes as well. I was thinking about summer today. It is good to remember that it is really coming again! Genesis 8:22 says that "While the earth remains, Seedtime and harvest, Cold and heat, Winter and summer, And day and night, Shall not cease." What a comfort that is!

Your Summer Ride is a Toyota Prius

Sure you're a little sensible and quite green But no one enjoys outdoors more than you do!

What's Your Summer Ride?

"

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Early morning thoughts

I'm back from Launceston and enjoying life in the south. For those of you who know nothing about Tasmanian geography, here is a map. I work in Launceston three days a week. I enjoy my work, but almost everything else that is important to me seems to center in Hobart. My parent's home is twenty minutes south of Hobart, and Hobart is a two and half hour bus ride from Launceston. I am now home for two weeks. I'm excited that I've now completed two terms of work, and have two terms ahead. Perhaps I'll actually get through the year :). I'm also very excited about enjoying my friends, church, hobbies, and the landscapes here in the south. I woke up at 4am with a tummy ache, and I feel so excited (and sore) that I can't get back to sleep. I have been excited for days! I have invited nine people over for lunch soon, which should be a lot of fun!

My friend Mike has 52 comments in response to his speculations on What women want. This feat was almost enough to make me want to write my own version. Something like "10 things men want in a woman". However, I came to the amusing and disconcerting realisation that I really don't know what men want :). This is not overly worrying to me, since I figure it is best to just be myself and leave the rest to providence. This is not because I don't want to get married. Especially when I'm lonely in Launceston, I think that marriage sounds like a great idea! However, I figure that if a man is to spend the rest of his life with me he should know what I'm really like :). Thus, I'm not interested in finding out what men want and then trying to be "it". I want Mr. wants to spend the rest of his life with Sherrin (whoever and where ever he may be) to like me, and not some image I am trying to project. In the meantime, it is tremendously funny to be a single. The number of amusing conversations I've had in recent times is enourmous. Here are a couple of examples:

One day a few months ago, a child at school asked me whether or not I was married.

“No”, I replied.

“Do you want to get married” was the predictable next question.

“I hope to get married some day”, I said.

“But aren’t you too old”, another child said.

“No silly, she’s not too old, my grandma got married” yet another child pitched in.

You will be glad to hear that at this point I did not laugh. Neither did I cry. I did breath a sigh of thankfulness that I am not a super-sensitive single person! These little ones have no idea of how old people are. Everyone big is ancient. I asked them to guess my age a while ago, and they thought 40 or 50 sounded accurate. I have told them I am 24, but it does not seem to sink in. The other day a little one asked me if I was 44.

Another funny experience happened during babysitting. the 10-year-old boy asked me if I had a boyfriend and how old I was. Upon hearing “no” and “24”, he pointed out to his 8-year-old sister “See, Miss Ward is waiting for the right one.” Isn't it good that I can provide such useful object lessons?

Also this morning I checked back to this post to see if anyone else had commented on the wonderful poem. I discovered that John Dekker has bought me the book of poetry the poem comes from. How nice is that? Here is a bit of the poem to entice you to read it:

This faith, although I lack it, is my own,
Inherent to the marrow of the bone.
To this even the unbelieving mind
Submits its unbelief to be defined.

Check it out on John's blog.

Oh, and John had some interesting observations (or should I say confessions) in the comments sectioni of cknat's post on what men want. Cknat has a green blog exactly like mine.

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Gossip

Scott Brown Online recently contained a great post on gossip. I am certainly no perfect woman when it comes to gossip, but I want to improve. Here is the start of the post:

Wilmington NC, pastor Devin Kerns shared with me one of his criteria for church membership - "no one can join this church without hearing my sermon on gossip."

He informs new members that he has a zero tolerance policy on gossip and evil speaking. He says, "if you commit adultery in our church you get four chances to repent according to Matt 18, but if you gossip, you are rejected after the first and second admonition."

He also guarantees his church members this: "No one will say anything bad about you behind your back without severe repurcussions."

He quotes Titus 3:10 which says, "Reject a divisive man after the first and second admonition, knowing that such a person is warped and sinning, being self-condemned."

The post goes on to show the pictures this pastor uses in his gossip sermon. It is worth checking out!

Many years after Princess Charles and Princess Diana's divorce, I still occasionally get into conversations about who was more at fault. I hate these conversations, and try to get out quickly! The lady I board with is in the habit of reading a certain popular women's magazine, with the resultant conversational topics.

Groping for some clarity in ithe midst of this conversation, I finally arrived at some.
"Well", I said, "it is all gossip anyway. If it is true it is gossip, and if it is not true it is slander, either way it is wrong and we shouldn't read it."

In hindsight, that was rather less than tactful. Although I'd told her I didn't read the Women's Weekly she had placed a whole stack of them on a table in my room. They had been there for about two months, long enough to notice that the front covers still contained stories about Princess Diana even though she's been dead for nearly 10 years. Will they never let her rest in peace? Soon after this little conversation, the magazines were gone.

In hindsight, perhaps should have tried extra tact, it did not occur to me for about two weeks that my comments could have been cons dered rude :). People do tell me I'm blunt.

However, the Bible is much blunter about gossip than I am. We commonly over look gossip, or joke about it, but the Bible presents it as serious sin. Yet we all know how often we indulge in it, without even a guilty conscience. Gossip magazines are the least of my trouble. I don't even want to look at them. They make me feel sick and depressed. It is easy to avoid gossip I don't like.

Another example of conversations I don't like is whether or not ___ planned to have their latest baby. People raise all kinds of things like "surely they didn't plan to have them so close together", or "they've only been married a year!", or "they've already got 4 kids". Personally, I'm not interested in whether or not ____ planned baby _____. Any baby is a good baby, in my way of thinking! I find it easy to say "I really don't think it is any of our business".

The everyday conversations where I want to know about what the person is talking about are much harder to choose to exit. Things like why ____ has an alcohol abuse problem, or why ____ (someone we know) got divorced, why a certain boyfriend and girlfriend broke up when they seemed so suited, or why ___ child is so badly behaved are much harder to get out of. I often want to know the answers to those things.

I once listened to a tape series on speech by Greg Bahnson (spelling?). It was excellent. One thing he said was that "if you are not part of the problem, or part of the solution, don't talk about it!". The problem is putting his advice into action!

Do any of you have tips on how to avoid gossip, or change the topic tactfully when gossip comes into the conversation?

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