To marry or not to marry?

In this post, I stated that:

"I have noticed that many reasons Christians give for why they are happy to remain single are also self centered. So are most of the things Christians say to people who are not happy about being single. For example, "you have so much more time and you don't have to take care of others". Yay! What a great time in my life to value my individual freedom and autonomy so I can become more and more selfish and less willing to adjust to the serving that is necessary in marriage! [Read sarcasm, please!]. Of course, Christians can always bring out 1 Corinthians 7 . . . but I think most of us know that the reason we are not married is not because we are serving God better that way! "

In response, someone (anonymously) posted some verses from 1 Corinthians 7, concluding that it "Seems the Bible thinks differently".

The problem with coming to such conclusions on the basis of 1 Corinthians 7 is that the Paul's writings in the Bible do not present one instruction on the matter of whether or not to marry. The same Bbile that says in 1 Corinthians 7:8 "Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried" also includes 1 Timothy 5:14 "I desire that the younger widows marry, bear children, manage the house, give no opportunity for the adversary to speak reproachfully".

What are we to conclude on the basis of this? The only conclusion I can come to is that there are specific situations where it is better to be unmarried, and there are other situations where it is more godly to marry. It is no more appropriate for Christians to apply 1 Corinthians 7 to all unmarried people than it would be for me to apply 1 Timothy 5 to them. I'd love to see the reactions if I started telling all my unmarried friends they ought to marry as soon as possible, have babies, and keep house, lest they bring reproach to the faith. This would be considered inappropriate. Yet it is the equivilant of applying 1 Corinthians 7 to everyone. Another reason to be suspicious of teaching that emphasises Paul's advice to the unmarried in this passage, to the exclusion of his other writing, is that Titus 2 assumes that marriage is normative. Paul instructs the younger women to love their husbands and children and keep their homes.

I am comfortable with arguing that the weight of Biblical evidence, and the weight of Paul's writing, presents marriage as the normative state we should aspire to - unless, as 1 Corinthians 7 mentions, we have the same gift as Paul: celibacy. If a person had this gift, they would usually be called to a ministry they could not do if they were married. For example, a very risky itinerant mission work. They may also live in a time of great trouble, as 1 Corinthians 7 explains. I know very few single people who serve God better than married people, and perhaps this is because they are not single due to biblical conviction and a desire to serve God better but due to selfish choices or to social circumstances that are beyond their control. For further reading on this topic, see my review of Getting Serious About Getting Married: Rethinking the Gift of Singleness.

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Contentment in Christ

Hebrews 13:8 is a verse I've thought about over the past year or so:

"Let your conduct be without covetousness, be content with such things as you have, for he himself has said I will never leave you nor forsake you'"

We live in a culture that is built upon covetousness. Consumerism fuels our economy. Consumerism is a largely a product of covetousness. Advertisments constantly encourage people to be discontent with what they have, and to feel that they need more.

I have often considered what it means to be covetous. It cannot simply mean wanting things, because it is not wrong to desire beautiful or useful posessions. The verse does not say "never want anything". Forsaking covetousness does not mean forsaking all desire.

It does, however, mean that desires must not become sinful. They are sinful when they lead to discontentment and ungodly behaviour when they are not fulfilled.

God gives us the antidote to such idolatrous desires: himself. He is so satisfying, that concentrating upon him will help us to stop being covetous. He is enough. It might take me a life time to internalise that lesson.

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Field Experience

Today I completed my second day of Field Experience for my teaching Diploma. This is my second "prac" for this year, and it is challenging to go to a new school. However, I have some praise points:

* I love working with the children, and it is a great blessing to be able to spend time with them.
* I remember all of their names, which must be God's grace to me!
* My supervising teacher is very competent and kind, and I am already learning a lot from her.

I am working with a Kindergarten & Prep class, 4 to 6 year olds.

Please pray for me if you think of me, as prac tends to be a difficult time for me with regard to back pain and tiredness. I only want to work part time in future, because of my chronic pain, so working full time for this period is a challenge.

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Quick n' Easy Cakes & Muffins

I highly recommend the book Quick n' Easy Cakes & Muffins, which also contains biscuits, slices & more! You know how books will often say they are quick and easy but prove to be neither? Well, this book is not one of those I have made a slice, biscuits, many muffins, a coconut impossible pie, and a cake using this book. I have been happy with everything. It even includes recipes for "Big Bakes", perfect for a large family dinner or a church gathering.

One of my favourite recipes so far is the Banana Yoghurt Cake. It has a delicious tang to it due to the lemon rind and yoghurt.

150g soft butter
1 cup sugar
2 eggs
1 cup mashed banana
1 teaspoon grated lemon rind
1/4 cup natural unsweetened yoghurt
2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon baking soda

Yoghurt Icing (I left this off so that the cake would be healthier, and it was still delicious without it):
2 cups icing sugar
3 to 4 tablesppons natural unsweetened yoghurt
1 teaspoon grated lemon rind

Place butter, sugar, eggs, banana, lemon rind and yoghurt in a mixer bowl. Mix on low speed until combined. Sift in flour, baking powder and baking soda. Beat on a low speed to combine. Increase speed to medium and beat for 2 minutes. (I beat it all on a medium to high speed and it didn't seem to suffer). Pour into a baking paper-lined 18cm square cake tin. Bake at 180 degrees for 50 to 60 minutes or until cake springs back when lightly touched. Leave in tin for 10 minutes before turning onto a cooling rack. Ice with yoghurt icing.

Youghurt Icing:
Sift icing sugar into a bowl. Stir in yoghurt and lemon rind to form a smooth spreadable icing.

This book is Australian, so it may not be available in the USA.

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9 weeks to go

At this time in nine weeks I will be a married woman. In fact, I'll probably be at our wedding reception. In the next nine weeks, I have many goals. Some of these are:

1. Honour my parents and enjoy the last weeks I will spend with them.

2. Finish my quilt so that it can go on our new bed that we hope to buy soon!

3. Learn to cook some chicken dishes so that Dave doesn't have to eat vegetables all the time. Of course, he can cook his own meat dishes but I'd also like to expand my cooking abilities to include some.

4. Work toward completing "The Excellent Wife" Study Guide.

5. Ask married ladies for their advice about marriage.

6. Complete trimester 2 of my Diploma of Education. I am only studying part time this trimester, but there is still a lot of work to do. I am trying to finish early so I can have a couple of weeks off before the wedding. I will go on Field Experience full time for three weeks soon.

7. Have my wedding dress altered and the bridesmaid's outfits made.

8. Complete the remainder of the invitations.

Dave is moving back from Melbourne next week, and it is exciting to think about moving things into our new home! We are going to rent a house from a friend of Dave's. This is very providential, as the price is what we would normally pay for a flat. The house has many attributes we like, including a garden, a deck, and a blue kitchen! Dave will move in as soon as he returns from Melbourne. This means that I can begin to move our things in, although I will not be living there until after the wedding (needless to say)! I am excited about moving over my great Grandmother Ida's chairs, which my Grandad left me, and the many generous gifts of household items that we have received. There are lots of things stored away in boxes and cupboards that can finally be brought out and used! If I have a chance, I intend to add another task to my list:

9. Make slip covers and cushions for great Grandma Ida's chairs. The chairs have lovely lattice backs that need cushions to make them comfortable, and cushioned seats. The seats are covered with a not-so-lovely fabric, so it would be good to make some covers.

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Wedding plans

Dave and I completed and sent out many invitations to interstate and international guests a couple of weeks ago. You know you're marrying a good man when he will assist you with tying bows and putting in split pins! A couple of friends also helped us one night. This was a lot of fun, and made the work seem like a little party!


We invited our guests to come to this little country church . . .

and then to this homey venue for afternoon tea . . .


It all seems so simple when I post it like this, but it has actually involved months of research and difficult decisions! I am grateful that the venues are now decided upon and the invitations have begun to arrive at their destinations!

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Christ and Culture

In his book Christ and Culture (1951) H. Richard Neibuhr identified five different ways in which Christians have understood the relationship of the Christian faith to culture.

1. Christ Against (Opposes) Culture – The Separatist Approach

• Reject culture as ungodly and separate themselves from it.
• Sharp distinction is drawn between the world and the Kingdom of God.
• Christ is thought to be opposed to the customs of the society in which the Christian lives

2. Christ of Culture – The Identificational Approach

• Identify the best fruits of non-Christian culture as being an expression of Christ.
• Christ is in agreement with culture.
• For example, 19th Century Liberal Protestants believed the Kingdom of God was found in the cultures of the world.

3. Christ Flanks Culture – The Co-Existence Approach

• The Christian is called to live in this world, yet is a member of the Kingdom of God. These loyalties co-exist in parallel and cannot be reconciled.
• Antithesis between the world and the Kingdom of God, yet both are equally important and valid fields of Christian service.
• Martin Luther developed a doctrine of “two Kingdoms”.

4. Christ Above (Crowns) Culture – The Hierarchical Approach

• Christ completes (or crowns) the natural order
• The superior order of grace is added to the inferior order of nature. Grace is added without significantly altering the world, which has a separate existence.
• The church is God’s institution on earth. It brings God’s blessing by mediating his grace and sanctifying the natural order.
• Associated with Roman Catholicism.

5. Christ Restores Culture - The Transformational Approach

This is the approach I most identify with, and I wrote about it in my post about my education course.

It is good to think through these different ideas about how we are to live in and relate to the world. Doing so can help you to understand where others are coming from when you discuss issues with them.

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The babies

I have not posted any pictures of the little men in my life for a long time! Here are the twins with their parents at my brother's engagement party.


Here I am with my second favourite boys . . .


They are more beautiful than ever, I think! Everytime I see them I can't help wondering what they will be like when they are grown. Will they be serving the Lord? Everytime I see them, I pray that they will! I often babysit. Recently Dave was visiting from Melbourne and he came with me. It was wonderful to pray aloud together for the boys. Those dimpled hands will someday be doing a lot . . . for good or for evil. The twins already seem big, and they won't be babies for much longer!

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Kevin Rudd and Therese Rein

2007 is a Federal election year in Australia. At the moment the Liberal Party holds power. For the information of international readers, John Howard is the Prime Minister. The opposition leader, who is aiming to win government, is Kevin Rudd of the Labor party.

One of Kevin Rudd's central platforms has been the treatment of workers. This is a traditional Labor party focus. Recently it emerged that Mr. Rudd's wife Therese Rein had underpaid some of her workers. This embarassment resulted in Ms. Rein selling her multimillion-dollar business.

In the media presentations that accompanied these events, Rudd attempted to distance himself from his wife's business. He stated that he and Therese led separate lives apart from sharing their children, cat and dog.

It is natural that Rudd would attempt to demonstrate the fact that he was not responsible for his wife's business. However, I thought his statements reflected one of the sad elements of modern marriage in a post-industrial world. Husbands and wives no longer work together. Their everyday lives are usually separate.

This situation means that it is harder for husbands to fulfill the responsibilities God has given them, as those ultimately accountable for helping their wives to live according to God's word (see Ephesians 5). It also makes it harder for wives to fulfill their role as helpers to their husbands. Rather than helping their husbands with their work, wives are often doing a completely separate type of work that takes up most of their time.

Kevin Rudd also made a statement that was telling in regard to his views of the role of women.

"This is the age of the professional women who run their own companies, who have their own lives and are not simply appendages of middle-aged men," Mr. Rudd said.

I admire the amazing forbearance, initiative and talent Therese Rein must have had to build her company from scratch. I have read several books on starting a business, and all these lead me to the conclusion that it is very hard work! I am not arguing that it is wrong for women to start businesses.

I would, however, argue that a wife's main task is to help her husband in his work (Genesis 2). Whatever she chooses to do should not detract from this primary role. Her aim should not be to further her reputation, but to further his. See the Proverbs 31 Woman, who took care of her household and business so that her husband could lead and be known in the gates. As she did this, she too was recognised. Her recognition, however, came from her faithfulness to her family.

It is offensive to suggest, as Kevin Rudd does, that women who choose to devote themselves to furthering their husbands' goals are "simply appendages of middle-aged men". His comment appears to contradict his statement that he respects the arrangements between Prime Minister John Howard and his wife.

Janette Howard's goal has been to create a strong family life. In The Australian Women's Weekly, August 2004, she stated that she makes no apology for taking a back seat in public life.

"I see my role as a supporting one, not leading the charge", she said.

Janette does not have many accomplishements that can be listed to her own name. She is only widely known because she is the Prime Minster's wife. Yet this does not make her life any less worthwhile, or reduce her to the value of an "appendage".

For me, the discrepancy between Mr. Rudd's views and biblical ideas raised again the issue of his professed Chrisitan commitment. I do not think any judgements should be made on the basis of this latest controversy. Many godly people I know have not thought much about the roles of men and women, and make unfortunate comments.

There are, however, other sources that may be of assistance in evaluating Mr. Rudd's commitment to Christian values. In a Sunday profile from early last year, Kevin Rudd states that he attends an Anglican church but does not care at all for denominationalism and has not forsaken his Catholic background. He also states that he voted for the abortion drug RU486.

For me, this interview was enough to demonstrate that Rudd does not have an evangelical, Bible based Christian faith. He is unlikely to advocate the kind of values I would like to see Australian legislation and policy relect.

For more information about the recent political controversy surrounding Rudd and Rein, see this Sydney Morning Herald article.

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