Preparing to pick up chickens

There is great excitement at the Drew Patch this morning as we prepare to get our chickens this afternoon! The long awaited and much spoken of day has arrived!

 Nate enjoyed inspecting the house.

Then it was time to put in the hay and arrange the perch and ladder.

Dave has done a fantastic job of building the house, and we are looking forward to testing out the design.

We have also prepared their food and water. Pictures of our new residents will be forthcoming.

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We've come a long way, baby

This week I saw several faces of feminism at a community lunch held up the road. Taryn*, a quiet and sweet unmarried mother of two, told me she was six weeks pregnant. Taryn hopes the pregnancy will get off to a better start this time. She was "on contraception" when she conceived her prior two children, and found out about the pregnancies later. The director of the community center were I met Taryn was also at the lunch, a forty-something mother of pre-schoolers who has her kids in care while she works four days a week. She also has a teen son, and was a single Mum of one for many years after an early divorce. The politician seated one place down from me is also a Mummy, but working from seven in the morning till late at night never leaves her with time to pick the kids up from school. Judy, across the table, is there with her "partner", a friendly-sounding guy with a building business. Once you look feminism in the face, you begin to see her everywhere.

In 2001 I was deeply grieved to see women rallying to make abortion freely available. This was the catalyst for a long journey of thought about feminism and what it means to be a woman. At university I studied a Bachelor of Arts, and feminism was taught in every subject area. So when I came to the chapter on feminism in Voices of the True Woman Movement, "We've come a long way, baby", I didn't think I would learn much. However, I was refreshed in my understanding of the impact of feminism. I was reminded that prior to the 1970s, it was rare for a woman to get divorced, have children out of wedlock, work outside the home when she had children, remain unmarried into her late 20s, or have an abortion. Homemakers were considered essential. Imagine a society where "living together" before marriage was so rare that statistics for this phenomenon were not recorded! Now Christian women, like the wider culture, reflect the dominance of feminism in their life choices.

Since the time when I was confronted with and rejected feminist thought, I've sought to act in an opposite spirit. Feminism "liberated" women to pursue careers and have young children. Post-feminist society has deemed the role of a full-time homemaker irrelevant and unnecessary. I've taken delight in calling myself a housewife, with no excuses. Feminism presents children as a threat to a woman's life, and planning them as a necessity. I have longed to welcome children as God's gifts, whenever and in whatever numbers they come. Often, I have been confronted with my sin. Submission does not come easily. Pride, rather than love for God, has sometimes been a motivation. At times I have desperately hated what feminism has done to our society, culture, and family life, especially as I see its effects in the lives of my friends. "We've come a long way, baby" was a helpful reminder that we must allow God to define us as women. While it is good to reject feminist influenced choices, that is not the essence of true womanhood. Rather, "The heart of true womanhood is to understand and agree with the purposes of our Creator".

 *All names have been changed.

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Preparing an older sibling for the new baby

I hope you enjoy the start of a second interview on the topic of "life with two!". Lisa of Nalaville Chronicles has kindly shared some of her experiences, and I will be sharing more of her thoughts with you in future posts.

Please tell us a little bit about your family.

My husband, Nathaniel, and I have been married for 4 years. We have 2 children, Abraham (nearly 3) and Abigail (nearly 1).

I’m currently a stay-at-home mom and my husband works in a technology field. We purchased our first house just over 1 year ago and are enjoying the benefits and challenges of home ownership. We are involved in a local church and lead an inter-generational small group. We praise God everyday for providing for us and we look forward to whatever he has for us.

Do you think it is possible to prepare an 18 month old for the arrival of a baby brother or sister?

Most definitely—at least as much as anyone else in the family can be! By 18 months of age most children start having conscious, long-lasting memories. Because of this, familiarizing your child with your belly and baby inside is quite easy, though their conception of what that means will vary from child to child.

When I was expecting Abigail, we made sure to frequently bring up the topic of “baby in Mommy’s tummy.” Just as life changed drastically for Nathaniel and me when Abigail entered our family, it changed for Abraham too, but he knew that a change was coming and that eased the transition.

To help him grasp this change, we would:
~ Play “Where’s the baby?”: We would ask Abraham, “Where’s the baby?” and then we would point to my tummy. He caught on pretty quickly and was soon happy to show off that he knew where the baby was!
~ Make introductions: Whenever we saw a baby in another family, we would take the chance to introduce Abraham to the baby and help him say hi very gently (with the parent’s permission, of course) and say, “We’re going to have a baby soon too!”
~ Teach about family relationships: We started pointing out sibling relationships in other families.
~ Pray: We prayed together as a family for the baby and for Abraham’s relationship with his new baby sibling.
~ Share the plan: As the time of delivery approached, we made sure to talk over the plans with Abraham about how when the baby arrived, Mommy and Daddy would be going to the hospital and Abraham would get to be with Grandma and Grandpa for a couple of days.
~ Visiting: We made sure that when we were in the hospital Abraham came to visit a couple of times.

We also made an effort to show Abraham that he was still just as valuable in our family even though it was growing, but we didn’t go over the top with this because we didn’t want to put negative ideas in his head. We talked about how God was blessing our family with another member and how that made us excited.

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Adjusting to life with two!

This is an interview with Sara Warwick about adjusting to life with two children. Sara has three little children. If you have any further tips, please share them in the comments section! I have another interview on this topic coming up soon. We are doing our best to prepare for the next stage, realising that we will really have two babies! Natey has certainly grown up a lot, but he is still a baby as well. He is very kissable, so I liked this picture from best price art.

Do you think it is possible to prepare an 18 month old for the arrival of a baby brother or sister? Do you think there are any tasks/attitudes the child can be trained in that will assist?

Absolutely!! What we did was to casually talk about the baby being in my tummy and how special a role being a big brother or sister was! We had two cots so we didn't have to 'oust' the first child out of their comfortable cot because the baby needed it. (might not be possible for all people though). You could also get the older one to 'help' you fold nappies or pick an item of clothing for the baby when you are dressing them. I think the best attitude to have was to be relaxed!

What strategies did you put in place for the early days of having a second child at home?

Early days of being at home with two... Well if possible accept ALL offers of help. Don't try to do too much. I am notorious for doing too much after a birth and it catches up to you... unfortunately all the offers have stopped by then! Try to cook and freeze when about 8.5 months pregnant. Buying plastic cutlery so there is no washing up for the first week can help too. Try to make sure any night time waking of your older child is sorted out beforehand. I LOVE routines.... so I always made a toddler routine up with 'still' activities (highchair/playpen play, video time, reading time etc) during the future 'feed times' and made sure the toddlers were established in it beforehand so not much had to change in their daily schedule.

How did you ensure that the older child was content and happy during feeding times for the new baby?

Feeding time can be a breeze if you plan ahead! What we did was train the children to be able to sit in a highchair for 30mins with toys and be able to self entertain. When older, this changed to a playpen. They also had a snack beforehand and a drink, fresh nappy etc so they wouldn't need anything

Do you have any tips for remaining in harmony with your husband and ensuring he remains a number 1 priority?

In our home when always have 'couch time' ten minutes a day roughly where we sit and talk with the kids in the room but otherwise occupied so that the children could SEE that mum and dad love each other. Sorts out a lot of behavioural problems that stem from insecurity in the parent relationship. We learnt the hard way that not having dates is not a good idea. Now we try to do something together each week that is special and just us two, even if that is at home with a special take away dinner or foot rub! 

Also, do something nice for him when you can in your day. Ask if he needs something accomplished or just try to be ready to greet him with a smile when he comes home. Your days will often be stressful and sometimes plain awful, but home is his refuge too and although there is definitely time to tell him what happened, as soon as he steps out of the car is not the right time!

How did you continue to draw strength from God and his word during those busy early days?

I read a chapter of Proverbs each day that relates to the day of the month. That is so helpful for putting off bad attitudes and for gaining wisdom. It is an easy to read book which also helps. I think prayer is so important. God can hear us and will respond to us in ways we can never fully appreciate. Also deliberately putting on an attitude of thankfulness instead of self pity is ultra helpful! The Bible says it is a garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness. The world can look so bleak when we are sleep deprived, sore, spewed on, have mastitis and weigh more than we did before.... but turning our eyes to the Lord and the MANY blessings he has given to us in Christ can defeat even the most gloomy spirit.

In hindsight after going through the stage of having a toddler and a new baby, is there anything you would do differently or wish you had done?

There are LOTS of things I would do differently but that is the benefit of hindsight isn't it!

• Mostly RESTING and not trying to be super mum.
• Allowing my husband Duncan to do more parenting things and not thinking that I knew better because I was home all day with them.
• I would have started teaching our older ones about the Lord from day 1 instead of waiting until they could understand. Younger siblings do have benefits of parents prior learning!

I think that is it really. Not too many. God has used all of our mistakes to mold us into Christs' likeness, so I wouldn't change anything really. I've had very dark days and then others that make me cry with laughter. Motherhood is hard, busy but eternally minded and rewarding. It is a precious role to God and I accept this awesome responsibility with cheerfulness. God is good!

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True Women With a God-centered Worldview

Women need a worldview strong enough to carry them through the hardest times in their lives, giving glory to God. Nancy Leigh DeMoss writes that "true womanhood results in a God-centered life and perspective, a God-centered worldview, eternally tethered to who God is and His sovereign, inscrutable ways." She bases chapter two of Voices of the True Woman Movement on Romans 11:33 - 36.

Oh, the depth of the riches both of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are His judgments and His ways past finding out!   

         “ For who has known the mind of the LORD?

      Or who has become His counselor?”

        “ Or who has first given to Him

      And it shall be repaid to him?”

For of Him and through Him and to Him are all things, to whom be glory forever. Amen.

Nancy Leigh deMoss emphasises God's ability to supply and to know all things. God's wisdom and riches are more than adequate, despite our troubles and limitations. Most of what God is doing is unfathomable to us. We should not demand answers, but trust that God has revealed as much as is good for us. We are the opposite of God, being limited in our abilities and understanding. A God-centered life means that a woman "lives for His glory and pleasure, not her own . . . because it is not all about us." This perspective must result in trust in God, not fear. No matter what is happening, we can trust God. A woman seeking this life must say "Yes, Lord." This means saying no to many things, including complaining and bitterness. It means saying "yes" to forgiveness and fulfillment in God's purposes.

Over the years I have had many opportunities to find comfort and perspective in these biblical truths. My own life is not physically easy, due to ongoing pain from a back injury ten years ago. The lives of others also confront me with the realities of a fallen world. Even when we want to do good, circumstances seem to thwart us. What would person y do if God gave her back the physical strength lost to chronic fatigue? What could family z have been if their church relationships had not hurt them so badly? Serving God is not a protection against tragedy or unyielding mediocrity or pain. Women who are unwilling to accept God's will cannot thrive in their relationship with God or others. Women who seek God and trust Him are left with purpose and hope. What a blessing it is to look to the future knowing I need not fear anything. Why? In any circumstance, God can be glorified through my life. Nothing can hinder Him.

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Preserving benefits our family!

As I prepared fruit, washed jars, sealed jars, and boiled our big preserver, I couldn't help wondering whether all this work would prove to be a blessing! Well, we are now in the middle of winter in Australia. I am pleased to say that our efforts to preserve food have been of benefit to our family. In fact, I wish we had been able to preserve more! Our stocks are running very low already, with just one jar each of apple sauce and loquats left. Natey has been known to consume nearly a whole jar of loquats in a day, and squeals with protest if anyone dares to try to eat a bottled plum without sharing it with him. I am grateful for God's provision for us through my parents' garden, for their hard work, and for the energy and time to preserve the produce. Tomorrow Dave and I are making a trip to pick up some fruit trees of our own. We have purchased two apples and a plum.

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The Ultimate Meaning of True Womanhood

In the ten years since I committed my life to Jesus Christ, I have often wondered about my purpose. What are the most important things for me to be doing in life? Gradually, my focus has shifted from the question "what do I want?" to "what does God want?". I have sought God's will when it comes to family and church, and what it means to be a woman living out the timeless truths of the Bible in a confusing world. In the first chapter of Voices of the True Woman Movement John Piper contributes his answer to the question of what a woman's purpose is.

John Piper starts with the assumption that "wimpy theology makes wimpy women". He then briefly recounts many inspirational stories of women whose understanding of God enabled them to be courageous in the face of life's challenges. I was touched particularly touched as I read of Gladys Staines, whose husband was burned alive by those he was seeking to minister amongst. Her response was one of desire to continue spreading the gospel in India. Would I be able to respond in that way? These women displayed determination and thankfulness. Why? How? Piper's answer is that they could respond with courage because their God is "big enough, strong enough, wise enough, and good enough".

To avoid being wimpy women, Piper encourages us to embrace the truth that "The ultimate purpose of creation and redemption is to put the glory of Christ on display in purchasing and purifying His bride, the church." As creations of God, we can choose to display God's glory in all kinds of circumstances. The meaning of womanhood is to display the glory of Jesus Christ in ways that could not be displayed if there were no distinctions between men and women. Womanhood is indispensable to God's plan to display the full glory of His Son. Piper explains some of what this may mean if you are married or unmarried. As a married woman, I was challenged to prioritise submission to my husband in the challenges of daily life at home. Why? Affirming my husband's leadership mirrors the way the church is to adore and reverence Christ. This brings glory to God, and that (not the achievement of my personal to-do list) gives meaning to each day as a woman.

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20 weeks of pregnancy

I am a bit behind in posting pictures. We are now at nearly 22 weeks of pregnancy! This picture was taken at 20 weeks heading in for our ultrasound. Many people don't realise that one of the main purposes of the 20 week ultrasound is to diagnose disabilities so that abortion can be offered before 24 weeks. Read Defiant Birth for an eye opener about the way the Australian medical system points women toward abortion. This intention is the reason why I chose not to have an ultrasound at this stage during my last pregnancy. Apparently they don't offer fetal surgery in Australia, so diagnosing disability does not benefit the baby. However, this time I wanted to check the position of the placenta. As a bonus we found out that we can expect a healthy girl!

In our garden that weekend, also at 20 weeks of pregnancy. We are very grateful that we've had a trouble-free pregnancy so far. I have almost nothing to complain of, not even tiredness! Wow! 

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Drew Birthday Traditions

This year we had the privilege of considering the way we wanted to celebrate birthdays now we have children. I am grateful for Dave's leadership in saying that he wants the children to receive only one toy from us for each birthday. Why? "Life does not consist in the abundance of posessions", as Jesus said, and we don't want birthdays to become more focused on "getting" than they need to be. Also, family give us lovely gifts so the child already gets more than one present. Since I could only buy one toy, I put a lot of thought into which one! We ended up getting the Plan Walker (pictured above).

The tradition I'm most excited about, though, is our decision to also give away a gift at each birthday! We chose God put us on this earth to be givers, to remember the poor and to promote the gospel. How exciting to be able to do that at each birthday! We chose  iThemba Lethu for Nate, as we already support this orphan/HIV care ministry. Elnathan has visited there while in South Africa and had his picture taken for our album. I think that when he is old enough he will enjoy choosing his own gift recipient. Dave chose Door of Hope orphan care ministry for his birthday. In October it will be my turn. Yay! Of course, we continue to give throughout the year but this is something special for the birthday person to choose.

In addition to this, I started a small book to write notes of thanksgiving about the birthday child. We want to remember what God has done over the years and give thanks! Birthdays can be another way to remind ourselves of what our true life purpose is. We have some precious messages in Elnathan's book already. For more ideas on birthday celebrations, see Green and Simple Birthday Parties. How do you like to celebrate birthdays and praise God for the gift of life?

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