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Co-labourers in taking dominion

This post is a continuation of the courtship series I began two months ago.

There is more to looking for Mr (or Mrs) Right than considering the traits of a godly man or woman, and paying particular attention to humility. Although I believe these are the first things it is important to consider, there are others that are also relevant. Husbands and wives are called to be co-labourers in taking dominion over the earth (Genesis 1:26 - 28). This is the Creation Mandate, and it is part of what it means to glorify God on the earth. This charge includes creating culture, and the hard work of child rearing. Married couples are to work together in their homes and in society, to do these and other things.

What does this mean in practice for those thinking about marriage? For me, one thing it means is that you must look for a life partner whom you can be in agreement with on matters that are important to you. How can you work together if you are opposed? Most of us have some personal theological or practical convictions that are strong, and impinge on how we choose to live. These will vary from person to person. I made clear decisions about these before courting Dave, and decided which of them were no compromise zones. Here is what I wrote about this before Dave and I were an item:

I see a belief that the Genesis account is literal history as foundational to my faith. The doctrine of God’s sovereignty is also important to me. I would not consider marrying someone who did not share these beliefs. I also have strong beliefs against hormonal birth control, due to my research on this matter . . . Therefore, I would not want to marry someone who wanted me to use this type of birth control. I could list a few other things, but I’m sure you get the gist! If I knew, for example, that a person was a theistic evolutionist I would not even considering going out with them. It would not matter how much I personally liked them.
I wondered if I would ever meet someone who actually believed Genesis was history and who would really let me choose not to take the Pill. It turns out that God gave me a man who sees Genesis as foundational to the Christian faith and has even led our local Creation Ministries International support group meeting a couple of times! My husband will not only "permit" me to ditch the idea of hormonal birth control, he's also just as excited as me about welcoming children into our home. Wow! Can you imagine? I still shake my head and wonder if it is possible at times!

I share this in the hope that it will encourage you, too, to hope and to wait for the person whom you can really labour with in the Lord. I'm not advocating pickiness ("oh, I just have to have a man who pulls out my chair for me"). Form your no-compromise list with much prayer and consideration of whether these things are truly important. If you really feel passionate about something, and feel it is integral to who you are as a person and to your faith, you should ask God for someone who also shares that conviction. You will be able to work better together, and you will be happier for it.

Ginny  – (October 3, 2008 at 4:26 PM)  

Sherrin, I'm wondering what role, if any, you feel parents are to play in the search for a mate? The points you've made are excellent, and I wish more young people would take the choice of a husband or wife as seriously as it deserves. I have two daughters of marriageable age, and I thank God that they have taken to heart the things their dad and I have told them, as well as the importance of using this season of singleness as a time to serve the Lord wholeheartedly, as Paul talked about in I Corinthians 7.

Sherrin  – (October 3, 2008 at 5:40 PM)  

Hello Ginny,

I believe parents are very important!

In a future post I plan to talk about this.

I'm grateful that you are blessed with two wise daughters who listen to their parents! Praise God!

They are also very blessed to have you both contributing to their understanding of God's will for their lives.

love Sherrin

Faith  – (October 7, 2008 at 12:17 PM)  

I am praying diligently (or at least I'm trying to!!) for my 2 daughters' and their future spouses. (if God so desires to give them one). I pray that they each become blessed with a godly man who is a Bible believing born again Christian....I am trying to teach them that love is a choice, not just a feeling. Among other things of course! Good post!!

Sherrin  – (October 7, 2008 at 5:28 PM)  

That is wonderful, Faith!

Your daughters are very blessed to have your prayers. My mother often prayed for me, and I am very grateful!

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