Loving the Little Years: Motherhood in the Trenches

I laid my 21 month old son down for his nap and hopped in bed for some shut eye myself. About five minute later I hear my three month old daughter stirring. She won't settle, although she is obviously tired and has only had forty five minutes sleep. Dummy gets rejected. I feed her and put her back to bed. Wow, she stays quiet. I go back to bed and doze. 15 minutes later I hear my son crying, a sure sign her hasn't had enough sleep. I lie down with him and sing, resting beside him until he sleeps as well. I observe the garden quilt on the wall and wonder how I ever had time to do that. Oh, that is right - I didn't have a newborn! Then I hear baby girl fussing again. Oh, maybe that is enough rest for one day? So even though she is quiet again I've given up on sleep myself and come out to share a book that may bless you if you are also in the midst of the "little years".

Loving the Little Years by Rachel Jankovic is a precious book for those of us in this season. It is suitably small, and has suitably short chapters! Rachel had five children five and under, including twins, so she has lots of experience with tiny people. She seems to loves a clean and tidy house, peaceful children, and time to do craft projects as much as I do, but also has lots of recommendations for how to thrive when things are not just as we would like. Loving the Little Years gets to the heart of what we need to focus on in these years. Here is a snippet that convicted me:

"Christian childrearing is a pastoral pursuit, not an organisational challenge . . . If you are focused on the upkeep of the house and the schedule, as long as your child is not interrupting, you don't worry about it. If you are being pastorally minded, you will stop whatever it is that you are doing to see how your daughter is up in her bedroom." 

Children are precious. They are blessings from God. They are also, in their little years, a great deal of hard work. I am sure there are some people who find it easy to love being a mother in these years, just like there are some people who have pain-free childbirth. The rest of us will have to work at it. Almost every day, I ask myself "how can I love being a mother?" and "how can I be a joyful mother?". Often I look for organisational solutions. I spend my days wondering if I swapped DVD time with room time, or did more puzzles, my son would stop squealing at the dinner table. Or if I got Mercy up to feed her at 6 instead of 7, could I somehow manipulate her into sleeping when I want to nap and read in the afternoon? Hmmm . . . I'm gradually realizing that if I want to enjoy motherhood, my attitude matters much more than my schedule. I need to enjoy the baby when she won't sleep. I need to cherish cuddling up with my son on his bed while I put him back to sleep. I need to be ready to sit and read to my boy when nothing else will calm him. Slowly, I'm trying to learn to relax in the midst of the work rather than waiting and hoping for that elusive quiet evening that never comes because baby won't sleep until 9pm! 

I will leave you with an encouraging quote from Loving the Little Years, as my babies are still quiet and I'm off to see if I can get some more shut eye.

  ". . . if you accept your lot and rejoice in your toil, God will give you the kind of overwhelming joy that cannot remember the details. Motherhood is hard work. It is repetitive and often times menial. Accept it. Rejoice in it. This is your toil. Right here. Those are their faces."

Loving the Little Years is available from Canon Press.