Home education tips from a mother of ten

Back in February I asked Ruth Bosveld to answer some questions about her experiences as a home schooling mother. I share this in the hope that it may encourage others who are also aiming to learn from older women. In the past my interview posts with home schoolers have generated some controversy on my blog. Please understand that this post is not intended to persuade those who hold differing views on education. This is not a debate blog, but honest questions are welcome.

What are five of the ways homeschooling has been of benefit to your family?

1. Opportunity to spend time teaching the children about the Lord.
2. Time to get to know the children and work at moulding their characters.
3. Solid academics.
4. Opportunity to adapt to individual children’s needs – especially the older children.
5. The children get to know and be friends with each other.

My husband Dave and I have two children aged two and one, so we are only just starting our journey of educating children at home. As a mother of ten, what do you believe are the most important attitudes and practices to foster now in order to set a good foundation for the coming years? Do you have any resources or Scriptures to share that guided you in the toddler years of your children's lives?

We endeavour to teach the children that their chief end is to glorify God and to enjoy Him forever. If God is central in our lives, everything else fits into place. We will honour His word, we will honour those in authority over us and we will respect others. We will also do our best in all our activities as we strive to do them for God’s glory.

I don’t think we have specifically thought of any Scriptures that are more relevant to toddlers than to older children. Proverbs often speaks of training a child in the way he should go, of disciplining, and of God’s blessing on that. That starts when they are little. Having the children at home makes it so much easier to nurture them in God’s ways. We will be held responsible for their upbringing.

Proverbs 22:6
Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Proverbs 29:17
Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul.

After being homeschooled for much of my education, I am aware that homeschooling families can develop severe weaknesses or sins that hamper their children's growth into godly adults. The tremendous potential of homeschooling as a means of child discipleship can only be realised if we are aware of potential weaknesses in our approach and conquer those with God's help. What are some of the weaknesses in homeschooling that have come across your path? How would you recommend that we seek to avoid or overcome these?

It’s hard to see our own weaknesses, of course, but I think it’s really important that we don’t home school to satisfy something in ourselves. We do it to give our children a Godly education.

We have sought to involve Brian (my husband) as much as possible, and that helps overcome many issues. The children are accountable to him – not just to me. They also have a strong male role model.


To avoid becoming slack, we endeavour to have the children aim to achieve certain goals and then accomplish them, which can be quite challenging at times. We use the curriculum Accelerated Christian Education and we involve the children in the annual state ACE conventions, which we feel helps them understand that it is Christian education which is ultimately most important – not everyone can be homeschooled. It also gives them a bar to aim for in all the areas of their education as they see other children work hard and achieve. Along with attendance at Boys’ and Girls’ Brigades, this helps us not be isolationist.


What are your key ways of persevering in homeschooling through life's changing seasons?

Daily reliance on God. We can’t do this in our own strength. Support for each other (husband and wife) and love for our children.

In a practical sense, we’ve had to move to some labour-saving things to help me out. When I was overwhelmed by washing nappies, we moved to disposables (baby number 7), we now have a dishwasher and I have two driers, which I use throughout the academic portion of the year. Probably the thing that has helped most is using a pre-prepared curriculum. I don’t have to reinvent the wheel and the structure allows the children to do the bulk of their marking. All these things take a financial commitment and may not be possible for everyone.

There are many competing commitments and good things we can do in life, yet many of these are incompatible with devoting ourselves 100% to our key roles of being wives and mothers. What are some of the things you have had to lay aside in order to be a homeschooling mother to ten children? What advice would you give to those of us who are just beginning to "count the cost"?

I trained as a doctor and worked for one year before giving birth to Lauren. I haven’t been in paid employment since. As a single income family with ten children, we have to be very careful. We could have been on easy street financially, if I had continued to work. I still have people make comments about how I should work, or I’ve failed the system (having had all that training put into me), or I’ve missed out on fulfilling “my” ambitions. Even Christian people say quite hurtful things at times. I can’t say it has been pleasant for me to lose the knowledge or skills that I worked hard to develop and achieve, but what I am doing is much better. In fifty years, no one will remember that I did medicine, but I hope my children and grandchildren will be salt in the earth. The Lord blesses us when we walk in His ways.

Titus 2:3-5
The aged women likewise, ...
That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children,
To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Psalm 16:6
The lines are fallen unto me in pleasant places; yea, I have a goodly heritage.

The other day I was considering what our children truly need at this point in their lives. God reminded me of a Scripture in Deuteronomy that keeps it very simple! We are to have his words in our hearts, and talk about them all the time! How have you sought to keep God's word in your heart so that it flows out to your children?

Obviously, we need to individually spend time in God’s word each day. We have a family Bible time after tea each night. We sing a portion of a Psalm and read the Bible. After breakfast, we read “The Daily Light”. The curriculum we use is full of the Bible. All the subjects rotate around it with Bible verses to learn all the time. We also learn whole books of the Bible, a chapter at a time. I try to keep up with the middle children. The older two have learned Proverbs. The older four have learned Revelation and we have all had a go at many shorter books. We do lots of Bible. It provides an opportunity for asking and answering questions.

We are also very involved in our church so the children are thoroughly taught. We pray God’s blessing on this so that they may really know their own sinfulness and need of a Saviour.

What do you love about being a homeschooling mother?

Having never done it any other way, I have nothing to compare with, but there are lots of things when I think about it. One of the very special things is the one-on-one time with the child who is learning to read – watching their mind open up and respond to what they are learning. I love to be there when any of the children have questions, especially spiritual questions. I can answer them right away and I know what they are learning.

There are lots of bonuses – no lunches to pack, no buses to catch... Lots of things. But, it’s hard work – no two ways about it. You have to know that before you start. It’s a marathon, not a 100 metre dash.

The gospel can become an unstated foundation to our family life, and yet it is the main message I want our children to take from their life with us. How have you sought to maintain a gospel and mission focus in your home?

I think our curriculum really helps with the awareness of the gospel and missions. Our seven year old currently wants to be a missionary to Greenland, because he thinks that fewer of the people there would have heard about the Lord than here. We don’t know how he came to that conclusion and he will probably change his mind a few times before settling on his future path, but it is an indication that our children are thinking along those lines.

Deuteronomy 6:7
And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up.
Genesis 18:18-19
Seeing that Abraham shall surely become a great and mighty nation, and all the nations of the earth shall be blessed in him?
For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him, and they shall keep the way of the LORD, to do justice and judgment; that the LORD may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him.

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Deb Girotti's homeschooling experiences

I have enjoyed reading the Girotti's blog, Mountain Musings, for many years now. One of the things I love about blogs is the encouragement I gain from catching a glimpse of how others live out their Christian commitment. It is fun to read about what is going on and the way God is shaping their lives into something beautiful! In April I enjoyed reading and sharing some of Hannah Girotti's thoughts on her homeschooling experiences. Now I am grateful to be able to share some thoughts from Deb, Hannah's Mum.

How long did you homeschool?

We homeschooled for 17 years beginning when our oldest son was 5 in 1987, and we completed our journey in 2004 when our youngest of four children graduated.

What motivated your decision to begin and to continue homeschooling?

We first heard about homeschooling when our oldest was only 3. It had never entered our minds to homeschool before meeting this family who was new to our church who homeschooled. "Now that is different," we thought.

One Sunday after church they asked if they could give a summary of what a day was like in their homeschool. Several families stayed to listen and find out more information. Many families began homeschooling as a result of that meeting, and I will always be thankful that the Lord used this family to open our eyes to the idea! This family motivated us to begin taking the first steps.

When we heard how schooling our own children could actually be possible, we started reading, praying, and checking into our state laws and what was required--this was two years before our oldest child would be ready for kindergarten. I began attending home school support group meetings and just listened to the moms talking and picked up lots of knowledge about curriculum and how families taught in their own homes. It was a great experience for me to get a slow start and a perfect introduction to the lifestyle we would end up choosing for our family.

What motivated us to continue to homeschool for 17 years? The results in both the academics and in our children's character training were only two of the benefits. Knowing that we were training our children as Scripture tells us was our biggest motivation. There was no question that we would definitely continue through the high school years.

Is there any advice that you would give to families who are beginning now?

One biggie help to the homeschool mom is to have dad (right from the beginning) take a couple of the subjects in the evenings when he's home from work. This gives your children a break from always having mom teach and gives them time with dad, and it helps develop a closer relationship with him. It also helps the children to see that both parents are in this together! My children loved science and math with dad!

Seek the Lord every day for strength to keep on going. The days of frustrations, sleepy students, science experiments, math problems, a new baby added to the household, grading papers, keeping records, and myriads of other things sometimes seem to drone on and on and could discourage a beginner. You'll think graduation day will never be in sight. Don't give up the race! It's worth every long school day and every effort when your children excel, love the Lord with all their heart, graduate at the end of their schooling, and thank you for all you've done for them.


You seem to have a close relationship with your children, three of whom still live at home. Are there any tips you would you like to pass onto others about fostering close relationships while homeschooling?

I'd say it would be almost impossible not to have a close relationship with your children when you're with them day in and day out. When your children see that both their parents want the very best for them as far as succeeding in their lessons, growing more in their faith and relationship with the Lord, and when they hear their parents praying for them daily, they are going to feel the love of mom and dad and of the Lord and that definitely fosters a close relationship within the family--at least in our family.

But also practical things like taking a special field trip that would interest a particular child or picking one child to take on an excursion alone and making him/her feel special will help foster a close relationship with each of your children.

Are there any mistakes you would like to encourage others to avoid?

Something that we avoided throughout our children's growing years were youth groups and seeking to always have our children around their peers. I know many homeschooling families have had lots of disappointment when their children have left the teachings of their parents because they've been influenced by their friends. Not that we didn't want our children to have friends, but we tried to make friends as families gathering together rather than children just with children or teens with teens.


How did you use homeschooling to teach your children about God and encourage them to seek Him?

The curriculum we used included Bible as a daily subject which we studied from K5 - 12th grade. We learned catechisms, memory verses, and basically used curriculum that focused on scripture and biblical principles in every subject that we taught.

Living a godly life in front of your children daily is a good instruction book, too. They will learn how to seek God as you as a parent seeks Him.

What are two of the challenges you faced as a homeschooling mother and how did you overcome these?

Probably my biggest challenge was feeling inadequate in teaching with not having gone to college and not having a degree. This feeling of inadequacy occurred mostly when homeschool moms would be talking together, and I would realize that everyone in the group was a college graduate but me. When my children began excelling and using their strengths to do a really good job, I realized that the Lord could use anyone (even me) to homeschool. At this stage in life with adult children who are well educated and serving the Lord, I wonder what I had to worry about long ago with being inadequate!

Are there any sources of encouragement that you drew from during your homeschooling years that you believe may be of benefit to others?

I don't have any specifics to answer this question. We attended annual state homeschool conferences and workshops, listened to a variety of homeschool experts on tape, read lots of books, and exchanged experiences with other homeschooling parents. We participated in our local home school support group and then led a support group for several years. All the contacts, education, and information we gained were sources of great encouragement for us.

If you had your time over again, is there anything you would do differently?

No, I really can't think of anything I would change--we took advantage of every learning experience that we could and enjoyed all the home education years.


What rewards have you reaped as a result of your decision to homeschool?

Adult children who are our friends and who are well-equipped to begin their families and to train their own children. They all say they plan to homeschool, too! Praise the Lord!

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A heart for joyful learning

I've enjoyed reading over Mel's responses to my final questions, which make up part three of this interview series. Mel focuses on heart issues. These are more important to creating a joyful home learning environment than the specifics of curriculum and schedule. I hope you enjoy the couple of silly questions I've chucked in at the end as well! How many pairs of shoes do you own?

Is there a home education track you wish you'd never gone down (perhaps a curriculum or way of structuring your day)?


We have used the same curriculum for our time home schooling and are very pleased with our choice. Since our first baby we have had a routine. That has grown and changed as our family has. We had our first 4 children in 5 years, so a routine was the only way I could get anything at all accomplished! The track I wish I had not gone down is that of having expectations that are too high/unrealistic for our family and for our season of life. I regret second guessing the choices the LORD has led us to in our homeschooling walk, because of the comparison that can easily be made of our family and children. Everyone thinks the way and style they have chosen in homeschooling is the best, otherwise they wouldn’t be doing it, but the way we share that information can portray to others that the choices they have made are wrong. Books, CDs and DVD’s on homeschooling are great, but the information/ideals presented can inadvertently set us up with an unrealistic idea of what the daily walk of homeschooling life is really like.


What are the key elements of creating a home where joyful learning can happen easily?

Regardless of the style or curriculum, a key element of joyful learning is a home free from parental anger and bitterness. If these negative characteristsics marr our instruction and interactions with our children it is poison to those precious relationships and robs the home of joy and peace. It also greatly hinders capturing the hearts of our children. The bible says learning increases by kind instruction. This doesn’t always come naturally and is not an easy call to live daily and consistently.

Encouragement is another key to joyful learning. Our children will not excel in every area nor will they be good at all the things they try, like, are interested in, or things their siblings and friends can do really well. Encourage them in the gifts, talents and abilities that the LORD has blessed them with and remind them that it is fine for us all to be different. There is one body, but many parts….just as the LORD himself has made it.

How many pairs of shoes do you own?

I did laugh, at this question as I do happen to have a bit of a thing for shoes - have you been speaking to my husband? I haven’t gone downstairs to my shoe box to count, but to hazard a guess I would say about 15-20 pairs would be down there!! Shoes just make the entire outfit that much better!!


If we invited you over for dinner, is there anything we really shouldn't serve you?

Not big fans of seafood or pork. We try to eat wheat and sugar free as much as is possible, but receive all things with thanksgiving!

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