tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155429946688188786.post3804283132797918882..comments2023-10-31T00:47:23.948+11:00Comments on The Drew Patch: Principles for CourtshipSherrinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16762088276758854686noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155429946688188786.post-63294078398676658502008-10-17T11:05:00.000+11:002008-10-17T11:05:00.000+11:00My husband and I also decided not to kiss until we...My husband and I also decided not to kiss until we were married. It wasn't easy, and we had a couple of people ridicule our decision, but we believed it was the right thing for us. We had no problems at all adjusting to a new level of physical intimacy after our wedding. In fact, I think that limiting physical intimacy before marriage meant that we invested more time in developing emotional and spiritual intimacy which is a much better foundation for a relationship!<br><br>However, I like the way you acknowledge that not all your readers will do the same. It worked for us, and was the right thing for us, but it's not a universal rule. Boundaries are incredibly important, but they won't be the same for everyone.Larahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07893694801377978699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155429946688188786.post-18691896252666210192008-10-17T12:25:00.000+11:002008-10-17T12:25:00.000+11:00Conservative Christian ideas about courtship often...<i>Conservative Christian ideas about courtship often focus on ideas such as “emotional purity” and withholding your heart prior to engagement.</i><br><br>Yes, this is something I've been thinking about lately. Perhaps it's different for guys than for girls, but it is hard to see how one can propose without first becoming emotionally attached. I see the need for emotional protection, but we also have to be willing to take risks, and be vulnerable. As C. S. Lewis says, <br><br><i>To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly be broken... The only place outside Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbation of love is Hell.</i><br><br>Can we really suggest that people ought not to love before engagement? If that were the case, how could we expect anyone to become engaged?JDnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155429946688188786.post-14102612633946130062008-10-17T15:31:00.000+11:002008-10-17T15:31:00.000+11:00Hello Lara, we were the same. There really were no...Hello Lara, we were the same. There really were no problems when we got married (quite the opposite) and I think it was all the more exciting because so much had been out of bounds before!<br><br>Hello jd (I wonder if you are one of the jds I know?) . . . <br><br>I agree that it is hard to know where the balance lies. I have seen incidents where a man had really invested his heart in his girlfriend, only to be deeply hurt and disappointed. <br><br>I don't know what the answer is. Kinder, more honest women would help. There is a sense in which couples have to try to protect one another from unwise expectations. Most courting couples I've seen are quite bad at this, as there are often conversations that assume marriage. Marriage should not be assumed until engagement.Sherrinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16762088276758854686noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2155429946688188786.post-45494980479804312672008-10-30T07:14:00.000+11:002008-10-30T07:14:00.000+11:00Sherrin, I think this is all good advice! And it&...Sherrin, I think this is all good advice! And it's interesting that you're pondering the "emotional purity" thing. I've recently read some horror stories about young women whose parents were so into the parent-dictated courtship thing that the women ended up marrying virtual strangers. There's got to be a balance somehow I think, between openness (which is a good trait!) and discretion.Laurahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01926184833095262275noreply@blogger.com